Writing Steamy Scenes by S. K. Yule

S. K. Yule
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I think since I’ve been writing, the number one question people tend to ask me is about writing sex scenes. Mainly, where do I draw the lines. Where won’t I go? What’s the difference between erotica and porn?

I love this question. I know that this can be such a gray area for writers as we all have different ideas about what’s hot and what’s not. Sandy may like playing the dominatrix, while Amy may like playing the submissive, shy virgin. Virginia might like her man to throw her down and ravish her, while Rhonda might prefer a soft, gentle touch. While it would be impossible, in my opinion, to write a sex scene that would appeal to every single reader, there is one single rule I always abide by: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

To me, sex is never hot, never fun, and never erotic if one partner disrespects the other.If my strong alpha male likes BDSM, he better respect her while he’s spanking her. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking how the heck can he respect her while he’s spanking her?

Well, here’s the difference for me. If she wants to be spanked, is getting turned on by being spanked, and he’s doing it not only because it turns him on, but because he knows she likes it, he is respecting her desires. If she’s never participated in such bedroom activities and is showing some interest in exploring it, if he takes the time to introduce her to it while ensuring her that he will stop if she requests him to do so, he is respecting her. Now, on the other hand, if she says “no, I don’t really want to be doing this,” and he insists that, “baby, come on, you’ll get used to it,” and continues on, that is not respect.

I do not like people who take advantage of their partners male or female. Yes, there are times that writers write characters that are saying no, but really mean yes. I’ve done that myself. It makes for great tension. I absolutely will not write forced sex. Yes, I have hinted at rape in my writing, but I will never write a graphic scene of the act itself. Well, I guess a writer should never say never, but I cannot foresee a reason at this time that I would ever feel compelled to do so.

To sum it up, if all parties involved are “down” with it, I’m happy.

Questions?

PS: Visit my newest page on my site. Maybe it will bring you some inspiration on the subject. Bad Boys