We have all had that moment in our life, when we open our mouth to say something…and whatever comes out is NOT what we meant to say. We have stuck our foot a mile down our throat and do not know how to take back whatever the hell it was we said.
But let me play “devil’s advocate†for a second here. What about the dreaded “slip-up†in bed. You know what I am talking about. Somehow we say something we didn’t mean to while being intimate and we just kind of freeze and hope that whoever we are talking to didn’t hear what it was that slipped out.
Because I love to laugh…and because I AM perfect (shush Kimberly!) and would NEVER say any of these, I have decided to make a goofy list of things not to say while being intimate. I hope you find them funny. I hope most of you have never said them during a crucial time in any relationship. I want you to be able to read this list, laugh, shake your head in amazement, and then tell me some that you would find horrific or funny to say.
“Oh John.†When his name is Bill, Tom, or Harry.
I think I am gay or straight. (Whichever the case may be)
Can you move your head just slightly? The races are on.
Oops! It broke. (Now you are trying to figure out if he meant the condom or something else.)
Tina was right, you aren’t very good.
Have you ever wanted to wear my underwear?
Is it in yet? I can’t feel a thing.
My ex was bigger.
My ex was better.
Can we hurry this along? I have to get somewhere.
I think we should see other people.
I have been cheating on you.
Did you talk to the doctor about Viagra?
Well…that is it. Thirteen Things Not to Say during Sex. I hope you laughed. Now please…if you have any that you think I would like to hear about leave a comment. I would love to read more! And I hope you enjoyed yourself. Because I certainly did while coming up with this list.
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun!
Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
0 COMMENTS
Dalton Diaz
14 years agoHow about, “Are you done yet?”
Great post!
Kimberly
14 years agoOMG!! I still haven’t stopped laughing! It started with the “I am perfect” comment and it hasn’t stopped yet! You are perfect…perfectly funny! I figure the “Move your head, the races are on” came from Tim! LOL Thanks for the laugh!!!
Danielle
14 years agoThanks Dalton! That is a great one. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that one lol. Thanks for sharing.
Danielle
14 years agoLOL Kimberly. You are sooo right about the nascar one. I originally said game and Tim said nah, got to be the races lol.