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The D/s Experience ““ Feeling Comfortable in Your Own Skin

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accidental_slave-ebook coverPeople sometimes ask me how I got started writing BDSM erotica and erotic romance. While I’ve always loved to write and have an overactive imagination, the first, basic reason for me was a desire to explore impulses and longings I didn’t entirely understand or accept within myself.

This was a while back, before the advent of the Internet offered people like me a way to connect with millions of folks of like mind and predilection. Ever since I was sexually self-aware, I knew I was “different”. Fantasies of being bound and sexually teased and tortured, even spanked and whipped, had always drifted through my mind and psyche, forming a basic part of what made me tick. Sexy slave girls in silky costumes, kneeling submissively at the feet of their handsome Masters figured large in my cache of steamy daydreams.

There was only one problem. I thought there was something terribly wrong with myself. I even sought counseling, while in college, to try to come to grips with and “cure” my perversions. How could a liberated, intelligent woman have fantasies of being held down and whipped, and find the fantasy highly, deeply erotic? I was sick! I was a freak.

I married very young, never confiding my deepest, darkest needs and longings to a man I instinctively knew would never accept or understand. I tried to quash my true nature, though secretly I nurtured my D/s fantasies. I had managed to buy and furtively read such classic tomes as Story of O and some of the works of Marquis de Sade. While the writing titillated me, it wasn’t really what I was seeking. I wanted to read more about the romantic aspect, or what I imagined could be the romance of erotic submission, but back then (we’re talking twenty and more years ago) the pickings were few and far between.

I reached my mid-thirties, locked in a deadly dull vanilla marriage and desperate to break out of my self-imposed shackles. Along came the Internet, which changed my (and I suspect many people’s) life in ways I had never dreamed of. Happening upon a BDSM bulletin board (those cumbersome, expensive precursors to chat rooms), I found people of like mind””some of them educated, thoughtful people who helped me begin to understand my submissive and masochistic feelings and desires weren’t perverted and twisted, just different.

With the help and guidance of these online friends and my own personal explorations, I began the long but ultimately rewarding process of becoming comfortable in my own skin””of finally accepting who and what I was. It would take more time and maturity to fully embrace and exalt in my true sexuality, but it was a start.

That’s when I began to write. If I couldn’t find stories that showed the erotic power of romantic submission, I would just have to write them myself. I wrote short stories at first, just dipping my toe in the waters of BDSM as I explored some of my long held, deep-seated fantasies. I showed a few of these stories to online friends, who suggested I might try to get something published. This was before the advent of Ebooks. I sent my paltry offerings to several S&M oriented magazines, and to my delight, they were snapped up.

Suddenly work I’d done purely for my own self-exploration had a market, albeit a tiny one. Other people were interested in what I had to say. The experience was a heady one, and I was bitten by the writing bug. What began as purely personal moved to something broader and the rest, thirty-five-plus novels and counting later, is, as they say, history.

One of my most gratifying experiences as a writer is when I receive an email from a reader who tells me I have changed their life in some small way. A woman who, like me, thought she was twisted for feeling the way she did, found permission and acceptance in my work. A couple who had toyed with S&M, but hadn’t found the courage to truly explore until one of my novels somehow turned a key in the door of their sex life, had rekindled the thrill in their love life.

If my work has contributed in some small way to making these people, like me, feel comfortable in their own skin, I have done more than just write sexy stories for fun and profit, I have made a difference in the world. How cool is that?

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0 COMMENTS

  • Blanche

    Very neat post Claire!

    Honestly, BDSM is touchy for me! I have read some that were ok but other stuff just makes me squirm and especially if it happens in a book with characters I really really like. I’ve read some really poor quality BDSM books (just my opinion and probably poor choice in picking books) and sadly it has blurred the lines for me a bit when it comes to this genre. I always try to keep an open mind and will try reading anything atleast once. It wouldn’t be my first choice of genres to pick up but and this is a biggie, if it is a book written by an author I know and trust/like, I’ll read the book! :mrgreen:

  • Anna Shah Hoque

    Hey Claire,
    I wanted to thank you for writing about the symbiotic relationship between a Dom & his submissive or slave…I am extremely drawn to the power exchange between the two roles and am comforted by the security and comfort one can draw from each role…I’ve always been drawn to such scenarios in my personal fantasy life and never openly acknowledged it even to myself for a very long time. Reading your books have given me a sense of acceptance that I would not have otherwise found. Ultimately, I don’t know whether I will be fortunate enough to experience any of it in real life but I have your books and my fantasies till that time comes.

    I grew up in an abusive home so wanting to be or even fantasizing about being in a D/s relationship seemed like a betrayal to my Mum’s struggles but I’ve grown to understand after much reading and education that abuse is very different from what is a consensual D/s relationship. Your books have certainly helped in clarifying loads of scenarios and I look forward to reading more of your work.

    Happy Halloween.

  • Lottie P

    Hi Claire as someone who’s read and enjoyed your books for a while. With this article you have answered (one of) the question I’ve oftened wondered about you and other authors who tap into that part of my psyche that BDSM books reach namely how did you get started. Thank you for this article and also for writing the wonderful stories you write. 🙂
    Lottie

  • Estella

    I really enjoy your BDSM books.

  • sara hurt

    HI Claire. I really enjoyed this article. I am so glad that you have found your niche with your writing. I think everyone should feel passionate about something and yours definetly shows in your writing.

  • Claire Thompson
    AUTHOR

    You know, I was a little hesitant to post such a very personal entry on this site. I really appreciate these open, sincere responses to my baring my soul! I think it deepens the experience for a reader to understand the motivations and experience of the author. I want people to know my writing, especially my BDSM writing, isn’t just a fantasy, or modeled on research and the testimony of others, but is based on my own exploration and deeply held dreams and desires. If I have conveyed that in this blog, I have done my job!

    Thanks for being so open to sharing with me.

  • Cathy M

    You are sharing a part of your life with us, and we get the benefit of that in the stories that you write. I totally respect that, Claire, and continue to be a big fan of your storytelling.

  • Claire Thompson
    AUTHOR

    Thanks, Cathy! That means a lot to me!

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Like a snow-covered mountain in the middle of nowhere—literally.

Frost Mountain isn’t your average ski resort.
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But here I am.

At least I’m not alone.
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And one of them is my ex-boyfriend…
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Amnesia sucks, period.
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Holidays this fun can’t be legal. When a cat burglar dressed as Santa targets a glitzy Manhattan high-rise, the holidays get unhinged.

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Meet the Author

Damon Suede… between soft and rough

Damon Suede grew up out-n-proud deep in the anus of right-wing America, and escaped as soon as it was legal. He has lived all over: Houston, New York, London, Prague. Along the way, he’s earned his crust as a model, a messenger, a promoter, a programmer, a sculptor, a singer, a stripper, a bookkeeper, a bartender, a techie, a teacher, a director... but writing has ever been his bread and butter. He has been happily partnered for over a decade with the most loving, handsome, shrewd, hilarious, noble man to walk this planet.

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In Timeless Honor, Jaye Ramsey goes on vacation with her friends to Bolivia in order to prove to her eccentric grandmother that time travel doesn`t exist. There she finds a time portal in the Salar de Uyuni (the salt flats) and winds up in Georgian England. Never did she expect to fall in love with a man from her grandmother`s past, Lord Lucas Kenway, who was accused of murdering his wife on their wedding night.

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For the first time ever, the Ramsey in Time Complete Box Set is now AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER.

PreOrder Links:

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The Christmas Collection by Regina Scott

Enjoy four warm, witty Regency romances set at the most festive time of the year, Christmas, by award-winning, bestselling author Regina Scott: My True Love Gave to Me, Always Kiss at Christmas, An Uncommon Christmas, and the short story, "A Light in the Darkness." "Totally captivating." Simply Susan Review Blog

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Alien Fury by Janice Seagraves

The Arcon, Thorn Grindstone, finds himself alone and injured, thawing in a disabled cryogenics tank. Making an impulsive deal for a fighter, he launches into a battle with a pirate ship before beginning is search for his people.

After Thorn crash-lands in the widow Roxie Carson’s corn field. Roxie nurses the injured Arcon. As tension worsens between Roxie and her brother-in-law, Thorn turns out to be an unexpected ally.

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Video Link

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Alien Fury by Janice Seagraves

The Arcon, Thorn Grindstone, finds himself alone and injured, thawing in a disabled cryogenics tank. Making an impulsive deal for a fighter, he launches into a battle with a pirate ship before beginning is search for his people.

After Thorn crash-lands in the widow Roxie Carson’s corn field. Roxie nurses the injured Arcon. As tension worsens between Roxie and her brother-in-law, Thorn turns out to be an unexpected ally.

Roxie is grateful to the handsome alien, but what will happen when the Arcon government finally shows up and takes Thorn away? What will her brother-in-law do then?

Video Link

https://youtu.be/Lk-h_Oe140A

Purchase Links:

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janiceseagravesauthor/
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Down at the Shore by Karen Cino

An Author’s Twelve Days of Christmas

With the holiday season upon us, it is our time to reflect on the year gone by and start getting together a list of resolutions for the New Year. This is one of my comic relief poems. I refer to it as my quick pick-me-upper when my muse comes to a halt. This is my version of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my friends gave to me:

 	Twelve hours of nonstop writing,
 Eleven great plots ideas with a twist,
 Ten true to life characters,
 Nine boxes of tissues,
 Eight books on writing,
 Seven sites on marketing,
 Six unique promo tips,
 Five colored highlighters,
 Four packages of post it notes,
 Three colorful loose-leaf binders,
 Two boxes of colorful paperclips,
 And a bottle of Procesecco to stimulate my mind.

To all my writer friends and readers I'd like to wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season full of love and happiness! I'm sharing with you my Christmas tree and decorations.

If you stop by and leave a comment, you will be put in a drawing to receive an ebook of your choice: Roses or Seaside Reboot (Jersey Route 35 Cozy Mystery). All you need to do is tell me your favorite Christmas/Holiday treat and/or what you want Santa to bring! Good luck!
Down at the Shore
Brooke Dascoli is in a relationship that’s going nowhere. She moves into the beach house her grandmother left her at the Jersey Shore and forms a friendship with her neighbors, Flo Meadows and Jane Cummings. Flo carries around a huge secret that has haunted her since her first marriage and Jane is having a hard time dealing with a cheating husband who died shortly after their divorce. Together each woman shares their past indiscretions and future dreams, while dealing with loss, renewal and starting over.
Purchase Links:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Down-Shore-Five-Beach-Road-ebook/dp/B09F6Z73FY
Books2Read: https://books2read.com/u/bzKJ7j

Where to find Karen
Her website: https://karencino.com
Facebook: https://facebook.com/karencino
X (formerly Twitter): @karencino
Instagram: @karencino
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/karencino

 

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Down at the Shore by Karen Cino

An Author’s Twelve Days of Christmas

With the holiday season upon us, it is our time to reflect on the year gone by and start getting together a list of resolutions for the New Year. This is one of my comic relief poems. I refer to it as my quick pick-me-upper when my muse comes to a halt. This is my version of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my friends gave to me:

Twelve hours of nonstop writing,
Eleven great plots ideas with a twist,
Ten true to life characters,
Nine boxes of tissues,
Eight books on writing,
Seven sites on marketing,
Six unique promo tips,
Five colored highlighters,
Four packages of post it notes,
Three colorful loose-leaf binders,
Two boxes of colorful paperclips,
And a bottle of Procesecco to stimulate my mind.

To all my writer friends and readers I`d like to wish you all a happy and healthy holiday season full of love and happiness! I`m sharing with you my Christmas tree and decorations.

If you stop by and leave a comment, you will be put in a drawing to receive an ebook of your choice: Roses or Seaside Reboot (Jersey Route 35 Cozy Mystery). All you need to do is tell me your favorite Christmas/Holiday treat and/or what you want Santa to bring! Good luck!
Down at the Shore
Brooke Dascoli is in a relationship that’s going nowhere. She moves into the beach house her grandmother left her at the Jersey Shore and forms a friendship with her neighbors, Flo Meadows and Jane Cummings. Flo carries around a huge secret that has haunted her since her first marriage and Jane is having a hard time dealing with a cheating husband who died shortly after their divorce. Together each woman shares their past indiscretions and future dreams, while dealing with loss, renewal and starting over.
Purchase Links:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Down-Shore-Five-Beach-Road-ebook/dp/B09F6Z73FY
Books2Read: https://books2read.com/u/bzKJ7j

Where to find Karen
Her website: https://karencino.com
Facebook: https://facebook.com/karencino
X (formerly Twitter): @karencino
Instagram: @karencino
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/karencino



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My Fake Italian Marriage by Romy Sommer
Escape to Italy for a summer romance
As the nights draw in and winter approaches, you may be indulging in hot cocoa, woolly sweaters, and Hallmark holiday movies...or you might be indulging in dreams of summery destinations and strappy sundresses. I'm definitely in the latter camp. I don't do well with the cold, so I hibernate all winter, warming myself up by escaping to warmer climes in the pages of books. One of my favorite destinations, no matter the season, is Italy - the home of pizza, pasta, gelato, and amazing wines. (And yes, I am a tad obsessed with the taste of Italy!)

Enjoy your own escape to Italy with "My Fake Italian Marriage," a romance filled with sunshine, mouth-watering food and wine, and (of course!) a heart-warming fake marriage romance.

In the words of The Unrepentant Bookaholic: "Set in the beautiful Tuscan hills and vineyards, this story was delightful, sweetly steamy, and still romantic. Sworn off men after two failed relationships, Cleo is sent to Luca's family vineyard to protect her company's investment. Sparks fly, and a reluctant partnership is formed to keep the failing business alive. Fabulous!"

Purchase Links: 

https://www.romysommer.com/montalcino-romances

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3DYUWW1

Apple iBooks: http://aps.harpercollins.com/hc?isbn=9780008353605&retailer=apple

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-fake-italian-marriage-romy-sommer/1143776409

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ww/en/ebook/my-fake-italian-marriage

Google Books: http://aps.harpercollins.com/hc?isbn=9780008353605&retailer=googleplay

Where to find Romy:

Facebook:  https://facebook.com/RomySommerAuthor

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/romy_sommer_author/

Threads:  https://www.threads.net/@romy_sommer_author

Pinterest:  https://pinterest.com/romysommer/

Mastodon:  https://romancelandia.club/@romy

Goodreads:  https://goodreads.com/author/show/6603454.Romy_Sommer

 

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My Fake Italian Marriage by Romy Sommer
Escape to Italy for a summer romance
As the nights draw in and winter approaches, you may be indulging in hot cocoa, woolly sweaters, and Hallmark holiday movies...or you might be indulging in dreams of summery destinations and strappy sundresses. I`m definitely in the latter camp. I don`t do well with the cold, so I hibernate all winter, warming myself up by escaping to warmer climes in the pages of books. One of my favorite destinations, no matter the season, is Italy - the home of pizza, pasta, gelato, and amazing wines. (And yes, I am a tad obsessed with the taste of Italy!)

Enjoy your own escape to Italy with "My Fake Italian Marriage," a romance filled with sunshine, mouth-watering food and wine, and (of course!) a heart-warming fake marriage romance.

In the words of The Unrepentant Bookaholic: "Set in the beautiful Tuscan hills and vineyards, this story was delightful, sweetly steamy, and still romantic. Sworn off men after two failed relationships, Cleo is sent to Luca`s family vineyard to protect her company`s investment. Sparks fly, and a reluctant partnership is formed to keep the failing business alive. Fabulous!"

Purchase Links:

https://www.romysommer.com/montalcino-romances

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3DYUWW1

Apple iBooks: http://aps.harpercollins.com/hc?isbn=9780008353605&retailer=apple

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-fake-italian-marriage-romy-sommer/1143776409

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ww/en/ebook/my-fake-italian-marriage

Google Books: http://aps.harpercollins.com/hc?isbn=9780008353605&retailer=googleplay

Where to find Romy:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/RomySommerAuthor

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/romy_sommer_author/

Threads: https://www.threads.net/@romy_sommer_author

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/romysommer/

Mastodon: https://romancelandia.club/@romy

Goodreads: https://goodreads.com/author/show/6603454.Romy_Sommer



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Interview with Lucy Felthousehttps://bit.ly/4fJavT3Welcome, today we are talking with Lucy Felthouse! I would like to thank you for taking time out of your busy writing schedule to answer a few questions. First, let's delve into who you are. Some of the questions may be untraditional but you’d be surprised at what readers connect to, and sometimes the simplest ‘I can relate to that’ grabs their interest where nothing else can.

Can you share a little something about Lucy Felthouse that’s not mentioned in your bio on your website?

I try to counteract my love of chocolate by spending lots of time walking in the countryside, going to Zumba once a week and doing Yoga at home.

How long have you been writing?

Since I was a child. I was a huge reader from a young age, and loved adventure stories, so anything by Enid Blyton, that kind of thing. I would spend hours making up my own stories and scribbling into notebooks. I wish I still had them now—I’m intrigued as to whether any of it was any good!

In terms of writing for publication, it’s getting on for twenty years now, since I was at university.

What have you found most challenging about it?

That when you write in certain genres, i.e. romance, and particularly steamy romance, you will often find people look down on you and what you write. There are certain places where writers of other genres will be welcomed, but you won’t. I’ve learnt to live with it, and don’t try to insert myself where “my face doesn’t fit”, but I do find it quite annoying at times. In a lot of ways, we still live in a very narrow minded world.

What does writing do for you? Is it fun, cathartic, do you get emotional? 

All of the above! I’ve made myself laugh writing, I’ve made myself cry writing. I take it as a good sign, to be honest. As the writer, I know what’s going to happen, so if I still get emotional about it, then surely that means I’m doing something right!

Describe what your writing routine looks like. Are you disciplined with a strict schedule or do you have to be in the mood?

I don’t have a routine. I don’t write full time, and I don’t always have a book or story on the go. So it all depends. When I am writing a book, I t...

Interview with Lucy Felthousehttps://bit.ly/4fJavT3Welcome, today we are talking with Lucy Felthouse! I would like to thank you for taking time out of your busy writing schedule to answer a few questions. First, let`s delve into who you are. Some of the questions may be untraditional but you’d be surprised at what readers connect to, and sometimes the simplest ‘I can relate to that’ grabs their interest where nothing else can.

Can you share a little something about Lucy Felthouse that’s not mentioned in your bio on your website?

I try to counteract my love of chocolate by spending lots of time walking in the countryside, going to Zumba once a week and doing Yoga at home.

How long have you been writing?

Since I was a child. I was a huge reader from a young age, and loved adventure stories, so anything by Enid Blyton, that kind of thing. I would spend hours making up my own stories and scribbling into notebooks. I wish I still had them now—I’m intrigued as to whether any of it was any good!

In terms of writing for publication, it’s getting on for twenty years now, since I was at university.

What have you found most challenging about it?

That when you write in certain genres, i.e. romance, and particularly steamy romance, you will often find people look down on you and what you write. There are certain places where writers of other genres will be welcomed, but you won’t. I’ve learnt to live with it, and don’t try to insert myself where “my face doesn’t fit”, but I do find it quite annoying at times. In a lot of ways, we still live in a very narrow minded world.

What does writing do for you? Is it fun, cathartic, do you get emotional?

All of the above! I’ve made myself laugh writing, I’ve made myself cry writing. I take it as a good sign, to be honest. As the writer, I know what’s going to happen, so if I still get emotional about it, then surely that means I’m doing something right!

Describe what your writing routine looks like. Are you disciplined with a strict schedule or do you have to be in the mood?

I don’t have a routine. I don’t write full time, and I don’t always have a book or story on the go. So it all depends. When I am writing a book, I t...
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Coffee and Crushes at the Cat Café by Kris Bock
Find #Romance at a Cat Café! #books
Start the Furrever Friends Sweet Romance series for only 99 cents with Coffee and Crushes at the Cat Café!

Readers say: "I absolutely love this heartfelt series."

"I loved this book so much that I purchased the next in the series, and it is just as sweet!"

What do you do when you meet the guy of your dreams? Set him up with your sister, of course.

Kari doesn't have time for love when she's opening her new cat café. She's busy hiring employees, fighting with the health inspector – oh, and welcoming 16 shelter cats. She's doing this for the cats, the community, and her family. The café will give her sister, Marley, a job worthy of her baking skills.

Then a tattooed military vet wanders in claiming he's a master baker. Surely Marley will fall for a guy this sweet.

Colin has other ideas. It's Kari who makes him want to turn up the heat. But he's spent the last two years recovering from physical and psychological wounds. Is he really ready for a relationship? He's not even sure he should commit to Samson, the sweet Siamese cat who steals his heart.

The Furrever Friends Sweet Romance series is available in ebook or print at all major retailers. Start the series for only 99 cents! Find it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B084GRN7CC

Or at all retailers: https://storyoriginapp.com/collections/6eb320a9-c5ab-45f9-ba44-46a902be614e

The Furrever Friends Sweet Romance series features the workers and customers at a small-town cat café, and the adorable cats and kittens looking for their forever homes. Each book is a complete story with a happy ending for one couple.

Get Lions and Love at the Cat Café, a sweet romance novella, free when you sign up for Kris Bock's Romance and Mystery newsletter: https://sendfox.com/KrisBock

Kris Bock writes romance, mystery, and suspense. In the Accidental Billionaire Cowboys series, a Texas ranching family wins a billion-dollar lottery. Can they build new dreams and find love amidst the chaos? In the Accidental Detective humorous mystery series, a witty journalist solves mysteries in Arizona and tackles the challenges of turning fifty....

Coffee and Crushes at the Cat Café by Kris Bock
Find #Romance at a Cat Café! #books
Start the Furrever Friends Sweet Romance series for only 99 cents with Coffee and Crushes at the Cat Café!

Readers say: "I absolutely love this heartfelt series."

"I loved this book so much that I purchased the next in the series, and it is just as sweet!"

What do you do when you meet the guy of your dreams? Set him up with your sister, of course.

Kari doesn`t have time for love when she`s opening her new cat café. She`s busy hiring employees, fighting with the health inspector – oh, and welcoming 16 shelter cats. She`s doing this for the cats, the community, and her family. The café will give her sister, Marley, a job worthy of her baking skills.

Then a tattooed military vet wanders in claiming he`s a master baker. Surely Marley will fall for a guy this sweet.

Colin has other ideas. It`s Kari who makes him want to turn up the heat. But he`s spent the last two years recovering from physical and psychological wounds. Is he really ready for a relationship? He`s not even sure he should commit to Samson, the sweet Siamese cat who steals his heart.

The Furrever Friends Sweet Romance series is available in ebook or print at all major retailers. Start the series for only 99 cents! Find it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B084GRN7CC

Or at all retailers: https://storyoriginapp.com/collections/6eb320a9-c5ab-45f9-ba44-46a902be614e

The Furrever Friends Sweet Romance series features the workers and customers at a small-town cat café, and the adorable cats and kittens looking for their forever homes. Each book is a complete story with a happy ending for one couple.

Get Lions and Love at the Cat Café, a sweet romance novella, free when you sign up for Kris Bock`s Romance and Mystery newsletter: https://sendfox.com/KrisBock

Kris Bock writes romance, mystery, and suspense. In the Accidental Billionaire Cowboys series, a Texas ranching family wins a billion-dollar lottery. Can they build new dreams and find love amidst the chaos? In the Accidental Detective humorous mystery series, a witty journalist solves mysteries in Arizona and tackles the challenges of turning fifty....
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