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My Big Fat Boring Life- Guest Blog With Charlotte Hughes

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Charlotte Hughes

 

(Award winning author Charlotte Hughes began her writing career publishing newspaper and magazine articles before becoming a New York Times best selling author. Charlotte makes her home in Beaufort, S. C. Best known for her FULL HOUSE series with Janet Evanovich, she has written over 40 books, ranging for the 3 mysteries she wrote for Avon to Mira’s HOT SHOT and A NEW ATTITUDE. Her newest release, NUTCASE centers on Atlanta psychologist Kate Holly and the humorous antics of her friends, family and patients. In the process she learns that the life of a psychologist is enough to drive anyone nuts. Readers are invited to visit Charlotte online at her webiste and blog. Early reviews for NUTCASE have highlighted the humor: Kathy Boswell at Fresh Fiction: “Oh My!! I never laughed so hard in my life.” Amie at Night Owl Romance Reviews: “You will love all these charcaters down to your soul.”

You can hear more about the new book at Charlotte’s web at www.readcharlottehughes.com, where she also blogs regularly. As part of the introduction of her newest work, NUTCASE, Charlotte is doing a virtual blog tour VIRTUALLY NUTS in March.)

 

I am amazed that so many people think authors have a glamorous life. In my case, nothing could be farther from the truth. Imagine a middle-aged woman in unattractive pajamas sitting at her computer with three dogs at her feet; one of which has a problem with flatulence. That woman would be me.

Oh, sure, authors look good at book signings, but for many of us that’s the only time we tweeze our eyebrows, wear pantyhose, and exfoliate. And for someone who wears socks or sneakers around the house every day, putting me in low heels is tortuous. My last book tour almost crippled me.

Most authors are not naturally witty and charming. Unless we’re very drunk, of course, but who wants to end the evening with puke in her hair? Plus, it’s not safe to drink on Zoloft.

It’s not easy to be interesting when you stare at a computer screen all day, and the people you hang out with are in your head. Truly, the only fascinating people in my life are those who end up in my books. They have exciting careers. They go out to lunch and shop in nice stores. They go to plays. They get manicures and pedicures. Their clothing sizes come in single digits, and they’re always on the cutting edge of fashion. They meet and fall in love with wealthy, fascinating men.

Me? I’m just the person recording their fun experiences while I dribble coffee or hot soup down the front of my Big Bird sleep shirt. Sure, I go out. Every afternoon I have to go out and perform poop patrol for three dogs. My favorite night of the week is Friday. I usually celebrate by hitting the drive-thru window at Taco Bell.

I do have one good looking man in my life, sort of. My FedEx guy is a hunk who, in summer, wears shorts. Unfortunately, he doesn’t come around often enough, making me wish I could afford to send FedEx packages to myself every day.

I guess I’ve become a recluse. I’ve lived in my neighborhood for six years and only know the names of a couple of people. I don’t think any of them know what I do for a living. They just know me as the lady in tacky clothes who picks up dog poop every afternoon.

The only real excitement in my life is the stark fear I experience as my book deadline approaches. Everything in my house goes to hell, including my beauty regimen and fitness routine. Okay, I know you’re thinking I made that up. Deadlines mean lots of hours at the computer and an IV running Starbucks through my veins. No makeup, hair all over the place; I look like I should be on the cover of a book titled “Beauty Secrets of the Damned.”

My office? Oh, now that’s sad. Even though I’m sort of like the CEO of my own company, there is no one around to help me organize “stuff.” It looks like a Dumpster threw up in on my desk and the surrounding floor. Each time I begin a new book I promise myself I’m going to be better organized, just as I swear I’ll exercise, drink green tea, and meet my book deadline. All those pledges go straight to hell about the time I reach that “sagging middle” and my characters are becoming as bored with their lives as I am mine. I know I’m in trouble when one of them suggests meeting at the local Taco Bell.

When the book is in, I don’t take fancy vacations or fly to New York to celebrate the birth of my latest story with my agent or editor. I take a hot shower and put on my pajamas because I feel a 48-hour crash coming on. But why shouldn’t I be tired? Not only did I take my characters on a fabulous adventure, I solved all their problems before I let them go.

Not once did they get bored.  

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0 COMMENTS

  • Jennifer Garolof

    LOL. I suppose now you are going to tell me Brad Pitts had zits? You have blown my whole image of celebrities!

  • Charlotte Hughes
    AUTHOR

    Okay, here’s the deal… I’m not sure this is where I’m supposed to post my blog so I’m expecting the blog police to knock on my door any moment.

    I love this site because it has the word ‘coffee’ on it and has coffee cups all over the place. Coffee is my best friend. I love Starbucks even though it’s expensive. But like I’ve said before, I’m not into buying shoes so I figure I can splurge on good coffee. I’m also big on fancy soaps, candles, and chocolate. Oh, and let’s not forget books! I always have a book on my bedside table. These are just a few ways I take care of myself. The problem with most women — and I’ve been guilty of the same thing — is we often put our needs last. In the past, my children ALWAYS came first, so I did very little for myself. And I am STILL doing it to some extent. For example, and this is so dumb, I don’t use my good perfume unless I’m going out. As a result, I have perfume that I was given years ago, still sitting on my vanity unused. How sad is that? So, guess what? I’m going to start using it! I’m also going to use those nice candles, even when I’m the only one around to smell them. I’d love to know how YOU take care of yourself, even if it’s something small.

  • Charlotte Hughes

    Oh, Jennifer, I didn’t mean to disillusion you, I am ALMOST CERTAIN that Brad Pitts has perfect skin. How could he not? Hollywood doesn’t pay actors that much money to star in a movie unless that actor has great skin, except for maybe Tommy Lee Jones, but even Tommy Lee is sexy in a rugged sort of way. Unfortunately, Brad is spoken for. Angelina would kick butt if a female got within 100 yards of him. :):):)

  • Christina T.

    I loved the last book. My husband is a firefighter/paramedic and I always try and seek books with firefighters in them. Sometime I would love to see Jay’s thoughts and POV’s.

    Looking forward to the nest one.!!!

  • Danielle

    Charlotte,
    I wanted to stop by and say hi. For those who do not know this (which most people do) Charlotte is a very funny woman! If you have not checked out her site yet, watch for the lady in the strait jacket. I am so happy to see you here Charlotte! Waving from michigan and hoping someone is at least keeping warm!

  • Charlotte Hughes

    Hi, Christina:

    I have nothing but admiration for you and your husband. I did a lot of research on firefighting, and I was awed by what I read, especially Dennis Smith’s book, “Report from Engine Co. 82.” While so many people applaud the dedication and bravery of America’s Finest, they don’t always consider the sacrifices made by the family. I suspect you’ve spent a few sleepless nights and paced a few floors as well. I commend you and the many wives who are married to firefighters. Yes, I’d love to get into Jay’s head, but since I’m writing in first person — don’t know if that makes sense to you — I’m only able to use Kate’s point of view. Yes, even writers have rules to follow! Thank you so much for writing. I wish you and your family the very best.

  • Charlotte Hughes

    Hi, Danielle:

    Thanks for your kind words. Writing is so isolating, and hearing from readers means a lot! I’m thrilled you like my website — a lot of thought and hard work went into it. As for the cold weather in Michigan, I highly recommend heated mattress covers if you don’t already have one. Thanks again for writing and stay warm!

  • Keena Kincaid

    Charlotte, you had be laughing from the first sentence. You’re funnier than you think, even if the most exciting part of your day is poo patrol.

  • Barbara77

    Next parachutes come out, causing even more air resistance to slow the lander down. ,

  • Mark43

    They called me back and I interviewed the next day and it went great! ,

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Can you share a little something about Celia Breslin that’s not mentioned in your bio on your website?

Sure! I play piano, and I like to sing. Used to be a soprano, but now I’m more of an alto. I also like to work out every day. Weight training, cardio, walking, etc.

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Describe what your writing routine looks like. Are you disciplined with a strict schedule, or do you have to be in the mood?

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Did you go into writing thinking that it would be a hobby or a job?

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Interview with Celia Breslin
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Can you share a little something about Celia Breslin that’s not mentioned in your bio on your website?

Sure! I play piano, and I like to sing. Used to be a soprano, but now I’m more of an alto. I also like to work out every day. Weight training, cardio, walking, etc.

How long have you been writing?

I’ve been writing stories since I was a kid. Mostly short stories back then. After college, I moved on to novella and novel-length work. I still do write the occasional short story, including The Night Hag, a dark modern fairy tale I wrote for Halloween 2023 (free to my newsletter subscribers).

What have you found most challenging about it?

I have more story ideas than I have time, LOL. 

What does writing do for you? Is it fun, cathartic, do you get emotional?

Writing is definitely fun and fulfilling. I do get emotional about my stories, especially when I’m throwing all sorts of problems at my main characters. But then I get to cheer them on when they overcome the obstacles and achieve their HEA.

Describe what your writing routine looks like. Are you disciplined with a strict schedule, or do you have to be in the mood?

I try to write regardless of my mood. I like to stay connected to my WiP, so daily writing is a must.  I’m also an editor, so my typical workday includes both activities. Oh, and my daily workout!

Did you go into writing thinking that it would be a hobby or a job?

It started as a hobby when I was a kid/teen. Fast forward to adulthood…when my daughter was born, I thought, why not publish my stories? So, I started submitting my vampire series to publishers, and it was picked up. Writing has been one my job hats ever since.

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Shay Morgan falls asleep every night and wakes every morning to the same thoughts.

Adam died. He wasn’t coming home, again. And she had no choice but to go through the rest of her life alone.

For Shay Morgan, the last two years has been exhausting. Life has been a game of hiding the heartache endured by losing the only man she’d ever loved. And she’s been successful. To the folks of Black Moose, Vermont, she appears a strong woman who continues to enjoy life through her work as a construction company owner and her many community activities. In reality, she simply has been keeping her pain at bay. However, with the death of a beloved friend and the return of a spiteful businessman to town, her good-natured, thin veneer cracks and she finds herself drowning in grief once again.

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Perfect Tomorrows by Autumn Jordon

Shay Morgan falls asleep every night and wakes every morning to the same thoughts.

Adam died. He wasn’t coming home, again. And she had no choice but to go through the rest of her life alone.

For Shay Morgan, the last two years has been exhausting. Life has been a game of hiding the heartache endured by losing the only man she’d ever loved. And she’s been successful. To the folks of Black Moose, Vermont, she appears a strong woman who continues to enjoy life through her work as a construction company owner and her many community activities. In reality, she simply has been keeping her pain at bay. However, with the death of a beloved friend and the return of a spiteful businessman to town, her good-natured, thin veneer cracks and she finds herself drowning in grief once again.

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With a little meddling from the good folks of Black Moose, Shay and Ethan both might just get a lifetime of perfect tomorrows.

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Robyn and the merry band get an update in this dieselpunk adventure.
My thoughts
I can’t tell you how excited I am to share The Treason of Robyn Hood with the world. I’ve always loved Robin Hood stories, and I had a lot of fun playing with dieselpunk. I loved reimagining long beloved characters and putting them in a new setting.

One of the things I wanted to do with this book is to have a version like the old Robin Hood storybooks (specifically Howard Pyle’s The Merry Adventure of Robin Hood). So, I hired an illustrator, and together we created a special illustrated edition. Man, this thing has it all: the full page ink illustrations, the Lombardic capitals at the beginning of each chapter. We even modeled the cover after those vintage sci-fi magazine, plus the addition of bookbinding tape like on those classic hardcovers.

Unfortunately, I am waiting on print proofs for the special edition at the moment. With all the extra stuff in it, it required a longer production timeline. But it definitely be out soon, so if you’d like that edition, check my website for updates. Or sign up for my newsletter, and I will send you an email to let you know.

 
What the critics are saying
“The Treaso...

The Treason of Robyn Hood, a dieselpunk adventure by D. Lieber Hi again. It’s me, D. Lieber, urban fantasy author, steampunk, and…well, and a lot of other things. As I mentioned, today is release day! Yay! I’m super excited to tell you about my brand new dieselpunk adventure The Treason of Robyn Hood. Check it out.

What is the price of justice?

As a ward of the Lacklands, Robyn Loxley has lived a privileged life. Even now, in 1942, when another war ravages the world and people on the home front must do without, her adopted family is not affected by the rations and shortages.

That’s not to say she hasn’t been affected by the war personally. As Robyn hits yet another roadblock in her quest to see her best friend Will, trapped in a Japanese-American concentration camp, she stumbles onto the people of Sherwood.

With dark truths revealed about the Lacklands and what really goes on in Midshire, Robyn must answer what justice means to her and what she’s willing to do to exact it.

Robyn and the merry band get an update in this dieselpunk adventure.
My thoughts
I can’t tell you how excited I am to share The Treason of Robyn Hood with the world. I’ve always loved Robin Hood stories, and I had a lot of fun playing with dieselpunk. I loved reimagining long beloved characters and putting them in a new setting.

One of the things I wanted to do with this book is to have a version like the old Robin Hood storybooks (specifically Howard Pyle’s The Merry Adventure of Robin Hood). So, I hired an illustrator, and together we created a special illustrated edition. Man, this thing has it all: the full page ink illustrations, the Lombardic capitals at the beginning of each chapter. We even modeled the cover after those vintage sci-fi magazine, plus the addition of bookbinding tape like on those classic hardcovers.

Unfortunately, I am waiting on print proofs for the special edition at the moment. With all the extra stuff in it, it required a longer production timeline. But it definitely be out soon, so if you’d like that edition, check my website for updates. Or sign up for my newsletter, and I will send you an email to let you know.

 
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“The Treaso...
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The War of Antiquities:  Four by SB Jones March 31, 2013

Book 4

The Mage Council enlists outside help in the wake of recent assaults and murder.  Therion continues to threaten everyone and everything around him as Duke finally takes steps to put him in his place. Catherine starts to break through Duke’s walls and learns about his past.
Kindle https://coffeetimeromance.com/the-war-of-antiquities-four-by-sb-jones/?feed_id=3423&_unique_id=66f63f7ad48d7&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=KarenneLyn&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterThe%20War%20of%20Antiquities%3A%20%20Four%20by%20SB%20Jones252093 March 31, 2013 Book 4 The Mage Council enlists outside help in the wake of recent assaults and murder.  Therion continues to threaten everyone and everything...

The War of Antiquities: Four by SB Jones March 31, 2013

Book 4

The Mage Council enlists outside help in the wake of recent assaults and murder.  Therion continues to threaten everyone and everything around him as Duke finally takes steps to put him in his place. Catherine starts to break through Duke’s walls and learns about his past.
Kindle https://coffeetimeromance.com/the-war-of-antiquities-four-by-sb-jones/?feed_id=3423&_unique_id=66f63f7ad48d7&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=KarenneLyn&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterThe%20War%20of%20Antiquities%3A%20%20Four%20by%20SB%20Jones252093 March 31, 2013 Book 4 The Mage Council enlists outside help in the wake of recent assaults and murder.  Therion continues to threaten everyone and everything...
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Authors Dish: Blue Saffire's Favorite Hero 
October 2018: Favorite Hero
~ Blue Saffire ~
CTR asked:
QUESTION: Of your published titles to date, which hero is your favorite and why?

Blue Saffire said:
I think my last hero Felix is my favorite for now. I guess because he is still fresh in my mind and because he is a lot like my husband. They all are, but this time I see a lot more of him in this character. 

- Website - http://bluesaffire.com/
- Twitter - @TheBlueSaffire

Brothers Black 5: Felix the Watcher Brothers Black Series 
[Contemporary IR Romance]

I’m a P.K., a pastor’s kid. I’ve done almost everything I’ve been told since I was a little girl,—no matter how confining that has felt. I’ve hidden my dreams and desires to toe the line. 

So imagine the burn of being blamed for something you didn’t do.

There has only ever been one person that truly gets me. He’s the only one that knows who I want to be. Felix Black. He’s been there for me for as long as I can remember. Always listening, always watching, always teaching, always encouraging me. 

Which is why I shouldn’t be shocked when he finds me. 

It’s my job to watch. To be the eyes for everyone else. I guess that’s why my best friend tasked me with watching over his sister. Yet, that’s something he never had to ask for. 

Guilt for what I’ve missed isn’t what has me determined to give Kaye the world. I’ve loved her forever. I will always make sure she’s alright. 

And he does give me the world. Felix has the key that unlocks what’s been hidden. His love, his touch, his attention sets a fire that blazes a trail, leaving nothing but black smoke in its wake. When the smoke settles, we’ll just have to see what’s left. 

Available in Ebook:
- Kindle - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JW8HQPQ/

 

More Authors Dish about their favorite hero.
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Authors Dish: Blue Saffire`s Favorite Hero
October 2018: Favorite Hero
~ Blue Saffire ~
CTR asked:
QUESTION: Of your published titles to date, which hero is your favorite and why?

Blue Saffire said:
I think my last hero Felix is my favorite for now. I guess because he is still fresh in my mind and because he is a lot like my husband. They all are, but this time I see a lot more of him in this character.

- Website - http://bluesaffire.com/
- Twitter - @TheBlueSaffire

Brothers Black 5: Felix the Watcher Brothers Black Series
[Contemporary IR Romance]

I’m a P.K., a pastor’s kid. I’ve done almost everything I’ve been told since I was a little girl,—no matter how confining that has felt. I’ve hidden my dreams and desires to toe the line.

So imagine the burn of being blamed for something you didn’t do.

There has only ever been one person that truly gets me. He’s the only one that knows who I want to be. Felix Black. He’s been there for me for as long as I can remember. Always listening, always watching, always teaching, always encouraging me.

Which is why I shouldn’t be shocked when he finds me.

It’s my job to watch. To be the eyes for everyone else. I guess that’s why my best friend tasked me with watching over his sister. Yet, that’s something he never had to ask for.

Guilt for what I’ve missed isn’t what has me determined to give Kaye the world. I’ve loved her forever. I will always make sure she’s alright.

And he does give me the world. Felix has the key that unlocks what’s been hidden. His love, his touch, his attention sets a fire that blazes a trail, leaving nothing but black smoke in its wake. When the smoke settles, we’ll just have to see what’s left.

Available in Ebook:
- Kindle - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JW8HQPQ/

 

More Authors Dish about their favorite hero.
https://coffeethoughts.coffeetimeromance.com/ad2018-oct-hero/ https://coffeetimeromance.com/adoct2018-blue-saffire/?feed_id=3413&_unique_id=66f6075664393&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=Blog%20Coordinator&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterAuthors%20Dish%3A%20Blue%20Saffire%27s%20Favorite%20Hero53988 Author Dish ~ October 2018: Favorite Hero ~ Blue Saffire talks about Felix of Brother...
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