Thank you so much for sticking with me throughout the day today and reading all of my posts! I hope you’ve had as much fun getting to know me as I’ve had sharing my stories and random thoughts with you. To learn more about my crazy thoughts, latest projects, contests, and news, make sure to drop in on my website once in a while 🙂
Of course, I also recommend you pick up either a paperback or ebook copy of A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT to *really* get to know me as a writer. As my debut tale, I thinks it’s the perfect introduction to my humorous take on the romance genre. After all, if we can’t laugh at ourselves, what’s the point? Romance and love can be fun (and funny), so I hope Tessa and Christian’s tale will tickle your funny bone and warm your heart all at once.
In October, you’ll also be able to get your hands on LOVE UNLISTED, the exciting follow-up novel about love and other neuroses. It will also be available in paperback and ebook formats as of October 20, 2011! And I can’t wait!
To say goodbye properly, I thought I’d leave you all with a fun Friday tale about one of my favorite characters… Mona Mason, an octogenarian with a flair for the dramatic, does make an appearance in one of my many “works in progress.” She got her start, however, in a series of short stories called “Fridays with Mona Mason.” I hope you’ll enjoy this story about Mona and let the laughter carry over in your weekend:
Crime & Retirement : A Fridays with Mona Mason story
Mona had never killed anyone before, but it was Friday and every Friday she liked to try new things. The past few Fridays had been lackluster, with knitting and yoga among the highlights, so she’d decided to step it up a notch and had scheduled an ambitious bowling lesson at the alley near her home. But given recent events, Mona believed that homicide would suffice for this week; ten-pin bowling could wait for next Friday.
In fairness to Mona, her victim had clearly deserved it. How could someone try to mug an octogenarian woman in broad daylight? The nerve of kids these days. Feeling righteous and completely blameless, Mona lowered her creaking joints onto a nearby park bench. She let the summer breeze ruffle her hair, while waiting patiently for the inevitable police detail. Mona had seen a young girl call them on her cellular telephone in the moments following the incident. Nifty things, those mobile phones. One of these Fridays, Mona should learn how to use one of the blasted things. And then maybe that inter-web-what’s-it-called.
Her assailant””a truly exhilarating term to use””lay lifelessly on the sidewalk, face down in the gravel, with his arms contorted at an uncomfortable angle. Mona thought she must not know her own strength if she was able to fell a six-foot tall youngster with naught but her handbag. Perhaps those Friday karate classes were paying off after all.
Although she couldn’t see his face, Mona guessed he was about nineteen or twenty, possibly a high school drop-out, and most definitely taking the drugs. There weren’t many wayward youths in this town, excepting those ones with the spiked hair and skateboards that haunted the local WalMart. Honestly, if Mona didn’t receive such a thrill from shopping rolled-back prices, she’d never go there.
Within a few moments, a police cruiser arrived on scene in a flurry of flashing lights, wailing sirens and screeching tires. Two handsome policemen, who Mona believed were now meant to be called police officers, stepped out of the car and into the bright sunlight, squinting at her across the cobblestone sidewalk.
“Ma’am,” one of the men addressed her politely with a nod. “I’m Officer O’Leary. What seems to be the problem here?” He glanced down at the twitching form on the sidewalk and back to Mona, sitting regally on the park bench with her petite legs crossed at the ankle.
Fluffing the back of her hair with one hand, Mona preened proudly before handsome Officer O’Leary. “He’s a criminal, Officer,” she began sweetly. “He tried to steal my handbag.”
The two officers exchanged a glance that spoke volumes, but Mona had to squint through her thick glasses to see it, and failed. “Are you alright?” asked the second policeman, or officer.
“Quite alright,” Mona puffed up her chest, squared her shoulders and peered down her slender nose at her assailant, starting to regain consciousness at her feet. “My handbag will need replacement, though. You see? The strap’s broken.”
“Well, the important thing is that you’re alright,” smiled Officer O’Leary. He asked Mona a few questions about what happened, nothing overly involved, and jotted down some quickly scrawled notes. While she talked, he nodded, noted and listened. It was the most attention Mona had gotten since Shirley Wilkinson asked about her hip replacement. Swept away, Mona hoped passionately that she might get to experience her first trip “downtown,” her first real police interrogation, and perhaps her first incarceration. What a Friday this could be!
The police officers cleaned up the apparently undead criminal, placing him gingerly in handcuffs and guiding him into the back seat of the cruiser. “She’s crazy,” he protested, trying to shake free of Officer O’Leary’s firm grip. “I was just trying to”””
“That’s enough out of you,” Officer O’Leary shoved him inside and slammed the door. Then he shook Mona’s hand. “Great job today, Mrs”””
“Mason. Mona Mason,” she beamed, feeling a bit like her favorite MI6 agent. “Tell me, Officer. Will you be escorting me downtown?” Mona blinked her eyes several times like they do in movies, hoping that handsome Officer O’Leary was admiring her long eyelashes through her thickened lenses. He smiled kindly at her. Mona felt her skin flush.
“We don’t want to trouble you, ma’am.” Officer O’Leary tipped his hat politely and then signaled to his partner. “You have a nice day now, Mrs. Mason.” Then he walked away.
Panicked, and a bit disheartened, Mona followed on the heels of her handsome new friend as quickly as she could, scaring several curious pigeons from the sidewalk. When they reached the door of the cruiser, Officer O’Leary turned to her with a slight frown.
“Won’t you need a formal statement?” she demanded impatiently. “I’m an eye witness! I could identify him in a line-up or give a testimony in court!”
“I think we have all we need, Mrs. Mason. We have your contact information though, just in case.” And with that, he swung open the door and settled into his seat in the police car.
Mona frowned. The town church bells chimed one o’clock. Only one o’clock and Mona’s adventures were already over””how disappointing a Friday this had become! Mona needed to do something, and quickly. Just as Officer O’Leary turned the key in the ignition, she banged loudly on the window.
Officer O’Leary sighed impatiently then obliged her by rolling down his window. “Yes, Mrs. Mason?” His voice had taken on an unsettling edginess, but he smiled despite it.
“Exactly why would you take someone downtown?”
“I’m sorry?” he asked.
“Say if I’d accidentally done more damage to the young fellow”¦ Perhaps killed him?” Mona said innocently. Officer O’Leary’s frown spurred her onward. “Accidentally, of course. In self-defense. Would you take someone downtown under those”¦ unlikely circumstances?”
“That would be a different matter entirely, ma’am. Even with self-defense killings, there would need to be an investigation, perhaps a trial,” Officer O’Leary said. “Now you have a nice day, Mrs. Mason. And don’t worry a thing about your assailant. We’ll take care of him.”
They smiled at each other one last time before the police cruiser pulled away from the curb and down the street. Mona hesitated only a few moments, watching the red taillights as she formulated her plan. She nodded smugly to herself, crossed the street into the hardware store, and purchased as many bricks as would fit into her handbag.
She also bought some duct tape and asked the clerk to help mend the broken strap.
And then Mona Mason set out to spend the rest of the day trolling the WalMart parking lot, just waiting to have a more exciting Friday.
It was great meeting you! Until next time…
Leave a Comment