Today I went into my local bookstore. Now, since I love books, this should have been enjoyable for me. Please note the use of the words, should and have. They’re the first clue that this was most definately not the case.
At first, it was great. There’s a tower set up in the middle of the store with(almost!)all the new releases on it. It spins round and round, which means I don’t have to move, just give it a whirl and snatch the books I want as they whiz past. I feel like a contestant on a game show and believe me, the price is always right for a book addict like me. How was I to know this is but a cruel trick to make me let my guard down.
I noticed that my husband was glaring at me over the Sci-fi shelf and grumbling about the sad lack of Simon Green books, so I traipsed over to glare back up at him. It so happens that the section I stood in was the mystery section. I looked down and lo and behold, there was a very smutty paranormal romance among the cozy mysteries!
Ladies and gentlemen, the book which I won’t name, was in no way shape form or fashion a cozy mystery. Now, I won’t deny that the hero and heroine get cozy. In fact, they get that way quite a lot, in a lot of places. But if my grandmother picked up that book thinking it was a mystery, though, how she could with the naked man and half naked woman on the cover, and took it home to read, she’d have had heart palpitations!
As a public service, I decided to move it over with the other paranormal romances, where it belonged when one of the employees had the gall to say something to me about it. When I informed him that it was misshelved and he still gave me attitude. So, I showed him the cover. He shut up.
Before you ask, no I didn’t buy it. I’ve already got a copy in my library. Why? Because scientific studies(yes, my own) have shown that all those heart-racing, page-turning, sleepless nights spent reading steamy romance novels burn calories. Read enough and it could equal treadmill and/or stairmaster mileage. Read even more and you’ll burn enough calories to be able to have guilt free chocolate. To save time I think I’ll just go ahead and eat it while reading.
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