Thank you to Coffee Time Romance for inviting me to be a part of February’s Book Brew. I’m looking forward to chatting about romance today, and giving away an autographed copy of my book, Whirlwind. Comment on one of my posts between now and 8pm EST to be entered to win! I’ll be posting excerpts later, too, so there will be lots of chances to enter.
Guys and Romance
When I was asked by CTR to define romance, I found it really difficult. To me, romance is different from sex (not that the two can’t be combined), and romance has an altruistic element to it. Sure, flowers and candy can be romantic, but to me, the unexpected, selfless act of love doesn’t require a gift. It’s that extra-special attention that is romantic, whether it includes a gift or not.
But is that what a guy would call romantic, or does he see it as just work? Women and men see the world differently, so what is romance in a guy’s eyes?
Since I’m not a guy, I can’t give you first-hand ideas, but do have a couple of insights, having lived with one for almost 20 years.
Flowers don’t really do it for a guy, but buy him a power tool? Now that’s romantic. For one anniversary (fifth, I think) I bought my husband a table saw. Now, I didn’t think it was that special ““ I’d hate to get something like a dishwasher for my anniversary ““ but not only did he love it, I got three marriage proposals from male customers in the hardware store where I purchased it. They seemed to think it was pretty romantic too. Who knew?
When I asked my husband what he thought was romantic, I got a blank look and a shrug. But after thinking about it, he decided that doing something that makes him the focus was what he found romantic. It could be watching his favorite movie with him, making his favorite dinner, or wearing something special, just so long as I’m doing it for him. Hey, that sounds familiar! Maybe our ideas of romance aren’t as different as I thought…
What he didn’t say – that I think is key – is that I should make sure he KNOWS I’m doing it for him. We have to eat dinner every night, but mentioning that I made his favorite because I knew he was having a hard day at work? That’s romantic.
So, I put the question to you: What do you think a guy finds romantic? Any guys out there want to give us a clue?
My next post will have an excerpt from Whirlwind, so check back! I’ll also send out tweets and update my facebook status when I’m posting so you’ll know. Remember, your comments enter you to win a copy!
0 COMMENTS
Jen DeLucy
14 years agoGreat post! I would think that showing passion makes a guy feel romantic. I know that I’ve seen plenty of guys mention how it turns them on to be with a woman who is clearly (and vocally! eh hem) passionate about him. And who can blame him? We women want the same thing, right?
Jennifer Lane
14 years agoI love that you got a power saw for your husband! *shakes head* Men. I think guys find it romantic when women laugh at their jokes. 😀
Killian
14 years agoRomance is love in action, is it not? It is the rendering of an act for which the motivation is merely the delight or comfort of the benefitor of the act. It is gifting without the expectation to receive.
Nice question to pose.
Cindy L
14 years agoI remember surprising my hubby when he got home from work. I put notes all over the house with clues on where to find me. I had candles lit and a bubble bath waiting for him and his favorite meal for dinner. He loved it. After a hard day at work, he appreciated being pampered.
Robin DeJarnett
14 years ago AUTHORGreat comments, all – and you’ve also touched on another question:
Does romance equal sex? (or have to lead to it?)
My gut says that a man would answer yes without hesitation. But that doesn’t mean a woman would necessarily say no, right?
Kathy
14 years agoHi, hon! I love your comment about how you have to make sure the guy knows you’re doing it for him. You do have to spell things out for guys–it’s not that they’re not bright or observant, their minds just don’t work that way. But if we just tell them, they’re all over the appreciation.