Thank you to Coffee Time Romance for inviting me to be a part of February’s Book Brew. I’m looking forward to chatting about romance today, and giving away an autographed copy of my book, Whirlwind.  Comment on one of my posts between now and 8pm EST to be entered to win!  I’ll be posting excerpts later, too, so there will be lots of chances to enter.

Guys and Romance

When I was asked by CTR to define romance, I found it really difficult.  To me, romance is different from sex (not that the two can’t be combined), and romance has an altruistic element to it.  Sure, flowers and candy can be romantic, but to me, the unexpected, selfless act of love doesn’t require a gift. It’s that extra-special attention that is romantic, whether it includes a gift or not.

But is that what a guy would call romantic, or does he see it as just work? Women and men see the world differently, so what is romance in a guy’s eyes?

Since I’m not a guy, I can’t give you first-hand ideas, but do have a couple of insights, having lived with one for almost 20 years.

Flowers don’t really do it for a guy, but buy him a power tool? Now that’s romantic. For one anniversary (fifth, I think) I bought my husband a table saw. Now, I didn’t think it was that special ““ I’d hate to get something like a dishwasher for my anniversary ““ but not only did he love it, I got three marriage proposals from male customers in the hardware store where I purchased it.  They seemed to think it was pretty romantic too. Who knew?

When I asked my husband what he thought was romantic, I got a blank look and a shrug. But after thinking about it, he decided that doing something that makes him the focus was what he found romantic.  It could be watching his favorite movie with him, making his favorite dinner, or wearing something special, just so long as I’m doing it for him. Hey, that sounds familiar! Maybe our ideas of romance aren’t as different as I thought…

What he didn’t say – that I think is key – is that I should make sure he KNOWS I’m doing it for him.  We have to eat dinner every night, but mentioning that I made his favorite because I knew he was having a hard day at work? That’s romantic.

So, I put the question to you:  What do you think a guy finds romantic? Any guys out there want to give us a clue?

My next post will have an excerpt from Whirlwind, so check back! I’ll also send out tweets and update my facebook status when I’m posting so you’ll know. Remember, your comments enter you to win a copy!