There’s quite a few concepts that come up again and again in romance novels, but how many are real? Love at first sight, star-crossed lovers, soul mates…are these just made-up concepts designed to tug on heartstrings? What do you think?
I’m convinced that soul mates do exist. From the first date, I knew there was something special about my (now) husband…we connected so quickly and easily, it actually scared me! I can’t say we were drawn to each other immediately…in fact he could be less than friendly when he wanted to…but once we really got to know each other we clicked. For me it really was like the pieces of a puzzle falling into place.
Which begs the question: Were we MEANT to be together? Another concept that dovetails the soul mate idea is that of destiny. Some would say that soul mates are two halves of one heart that are constantly searching for each other through time – leading to a romantic search to find each other. Now THAT sounds like a romance novel I’m sure I’ve read. But is that what happened to me? I honestly don’t know.
As romantic as the lovers-through-time concept is, I also think there’s a TON of romance in the coincidence-brought-us-together lovers. That’s kind of how my husband and I got together – our first date wasn’t really supposed to be a date at all. It was happenstance that none of my other friends were around to hang out with. It ended up just being the two of us, and here we are, still together.
So what do you think? Are soul mates real? Which is more romantic, long lost souls reconnecting, or the unplanned, unscripted connection?
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Joanne Maria
13 years agoI think soul mates can be a real thing. I prefer unscripted love, but long lost love can be appealing also. Finding love, losing it and re-finding, I would have to say is my favorite.
Cindy L
13 years agoI met my hubby in high school when I was dating his best friend. We broke up but remained friends. I didn’t like my husband at first. He was arrogant and annoyed me to no end. Then he kissed me out of the blue and we ended up dating. 20 years later and we are still together. He told me that he knew that I was the one that he wanted to marry right from the start and I told him he had a funny way of showing it!
Kathy
13 years agoThrough my various course of studies, I have done a lot of research on arranged marriages. They have a MUCH lower divorce rate and a MUCH higher satisfaction rate than marriage-for-love-and-romance. And not all of that is just because the women are oppressed and/or have no resources. A friend of mine is in an arranged marriage, which she entered into in her 30’s. She lives in Missouri, and she’s a doctor. Girlfriend has resources, but she and her husband make it work.
I guess my point is that love comes in a lot of forms, and while sometimes the seeds bloom immediately, sometimes they take longer–sometimes commitment comes first, then love. Are Siraya and Ali less soul mates than Matt and me just because their marriage was arranged? I don’t know. I can’t see how.
I also know that Matt and I look at each other frequently and say, “Thank God we found each other, because nobody else would understand this!” If that’s not a soul mate, I don’t know what is!
Robin DeJarnett
13 years ago AUTHORAs always Kathy, you bring up an excellent point that I never would have thought of! And arranged marriages are also a popular romantic device in writing. Usually seen in a negative light, especially here in the US, it’s good to hear the other side of the story.
Commitment…hmmm…there’s a whole ‘nother post there! But I’ll have to save that one for next time.
Thank you everyone for your great posts!