We’ve been discussing the elements of scenes, and I’m covering five. First was the opening hook. turning points, then revelations or reveals, and this is reaction. The final will be the closing hook.
Reaction
Reaction to the earlier reveal in line with character’s beliefs.
When something is revealed, especially if it’s unexpected, the reaction is often strong, and usually causes the protagonist to make a decision.
Here are a few examples:
- Do I take the red pill or the blue one? (Matrix)
- Ignore the annoying barking dog or follow her? (Lassie)
- A ginormous spaceship has just poked through the clouds directly over my city—do I take your family somewhere safe or send them and report to my military base? (Independence Day)
In a scene, when something occurs that makes the protagonist make a decision, that is reaction.
Be sure to get the order right. Action then reaction.
Here’s an example that you see in many books.
She turned toward the door when someone knocked.
This has the reaction (turned) prior to the action occurring (knocked). Here’s a better and more correct way to write it.
When someone knocked, she turned toward the door.
Now there’s a reason she’s reacting. The order is such a small detail here, but readers often pick up this type of miscue without knowing what is wrong. Sprinkling “reaction before action” throughout a book can leave a reader with a nameless feeling of something just seeming “off.”
A similar issue is using the word “to” when describing what another character is something which the protagonist sees. Here’s an example told from the protagonist’s pov:
- The man came inside to buy a soft drink.
- She picked up her purse to look inside.
- His brother stood up to get ready.
I can hear your disbelief all the way from here. What’s wrong with that? It’s obvious what they are doing.
But how does the protagonist know that? In the first, the man might come inside because he’s planning to rob the place. The woman might pick up her purse and look in it because she’s avoiding someone who just came in the room. His brother might just be standing up to stretch, or go get something, or refill his coffee, etc.
In every situation, you’ve told the reader what the other person is doing, but your protagonist—unless they are telepathic—does not know what the real reason is.
Instead of a reader seeing an action and wondering about it, the action is being explained to them by the writer.
Here are the same examples, rewritten to remove the reaction.
- The man came inside and bought a soft drink.
- She picked up her purse and looked inside.
- His brother stood up and got ready.
It’s an easy fix, and it removes an action/reaction that makes the story deeper for the reader.
Keep in mind that action precedes reaction, which is what the prefix “re” is all about, and your readers might never notice, but this minor change can give the story a stronger sense of immediacy. Readers see what happens without being told about it.
Next month, we’ll take a look at the final section of a scene: closing hooks.
How have you used a creative hook to grab a reader’s attention? Feel free to leave an example and the name of the book.
About the Author
Kayelle Allen writes Sci Fi with misbehaving robots, mythic heroes, role-playing immortal gamers, and warriors who purr. She is the author of multiple books, novellas, and short stories. She’s also a US Navy veteran and has been married so long she’s tenured.
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