I’ve been forced to look at parenting in the new world lately, as I watch my friend struggle with her teenage daughter.  Sweet little girl she was, with her blonde hair and blue eyes – she could say or do anything and get away with murder.

My friend was a ‘social’ person through school – often having a different boyfriend every week and wearing, doing, saying the ‘right’ things that gave her an in with the cool crowd.  How she and I remained friends throughout all that while I did everything to NOT be in with the ‘cool’ crowd (which usually meant skipping school, smoking in the back parking lot, and often getting into mischief) is a mystery.

I’ve watched her try to live vicariously through her daughter – to reclaim some of that youth as her daughter goes through boyfriend after boyfriend, has been hanging around ‘shady’ characters who are supposed to be ‘cool’, and just getting into the whole dressing the same, doing the same things – and losing the mother/daughter relationship and moving more towards the friend stage.

Many may say this is a good thing.  But now that the young sweet blonde is 15, not so sweet, and definitely far from innocent – I’m left wondering if this was a cause of trying to put Mommy pants on just a little too late.  Should you keep your kids ‘kids’, and NOT try to force them to grow up too fast, or is this just random?

We live in such a different society now than when I was in school.  Now kids are posting pictures on the internet of everything they’re doing, saying, wearing, etc – and this is stuff we used to try so hard to hide from our parents.  I’m still afraid of my mother and my children are grown!  I don’t see the respect for my friend – I see a girl who calls her mother everything but a white woman, is not just doing drugs but selling them, stealing pills from the medicine cabinet and mixing it with pot and whatever else is on the go – keeps running away from home when things don’t go well but has money to keep smoking, drinking, and keeping up with the drug addiction. 
What has happened to our youth?  Is it the fault of society?  Is it my friend’s fault for trying too hard to be a ‘friend’ and not a ‘mother’?  I would never say that to her (and thankfully she doesn’t read my blog) but I’m curious to know what you all think.  Am I just getting too old and not with it?

I see this girl going down a really bad, scary path – and the saddest thing is that we can’t do anything about it.  My friend has Child and Family Services involved, her family doctor, the police, the school – you name it – and no one is helping her.  No one is there to counsel her as to what to do with this girl.  She can run away from home and do what she wants and just come back – and there’s no fear of consequence because of the young offender’s act keeping her from being taken anywhere.  THey tell us the beds are full in rehab, and that my friend should just ‘keep doing what she’s doing’.  Does this mean tearing the two younger siblings out of bed at 1am to go look for the drug addicted sister?  Because that’s what she’s been doing. Their lives have been turned upside down because of all this. 
Have a good one, people.  Hug your children, love your children, but remember – they’ll have many many friends throughout their lives, but only one mother (except rare cases, don’t pick on me for this comment).  Don’t take that away from them.