Written by Mercedes Keyes
Interracial drama series
[Overall] Rated R
Interracial drama series
[Overall] Rated R
To read further ““ http://amberswann.com
Meribel & Derrick McPherson
Chapter 40
The chicken smelled wonderful, making Sylvia’s stomach growl””loud; again she looked over at Shawn, he was determined to keep a straight expression. No grinning whatsoever. Angela was in the back seat munching on her fries. “Pum’kin, why don’t you wait until we get back to the hotel and eat with your cousins,” Shawn suggested, glancing up through his rear view mirror. “Ooh, they taste so good! Okay, I’m gonna eat just one more,” she mumbled with her mouth full. Suddenly Shawn’s hand snaked back and grabbed a handful. “Hey! Daddy! You got mash potatoes!” she reminded him. He chuckled, eating the eight or more fries.
Sylvia was dying for something, anything””she was starving. Suddenly a fry appeared under her nose from the back seat, Angela with wide eyes was offering her some of hers. “It’s not fair daddy have some and not you,” she reasoned. Sylvia smiled and decided she would hold off and eat at the hotel. “Aaah, you are so sweet, Angela, but I’m going to wait, okay? Thank you, though.”
She sat back with a shrug. “Okay.” And popped it into her mouth.
They finally pulled up into the hotel parking lot, Shawn driving around to the back of the hotel and parking near their entry door, when Sylvia noticed the pearlescent beige Ford Minivan with all of its doors open and kids jumping out. She could see the back of a woman leaning in to unbuckle one of the younger ones.
“They’re here already. When it comes to food, Derrick does not play””he eats three times as much as I do!” Shawn chuckled. The woman set the child down and turned, looking toward them, a big fat smile burst on her face while waving at them.
“Oh”¦my”¦God””no way!” Sylvia gasped.
“What? Do you know her or something?”
Sylvia was quiet a moment, stunned, then finally answered, “Yes, I know her. She dated Armundo before he left her and came to me.”
“Your first husband?” Shawn asked, surprised.
“Yeah”¦we all came from the same neighborhood and went to the same high school, Gage Park.”
“It’s a small world,” Shawn spoke the old cliché, pulling in one space away from them.
Meribel was standing and waiting to receive a hug from Shawn as soon as he cut the engine and stepped from the vehicle.
“Heeey, papi! How you doing?” she asked, her Puerto Rican accent still pretty strong, hugging him tightly as he gave her a good squeeze, lifting her off the ground, giving her a solid kiss and suck to her neck which made her squeal in laughter. “Papi, you so crazy! Turning me on in front of my husband!”
“Hey, hey, hey! Hands and lips off the wife!” Derrick barked, grinning that very same grin as his older brother.
“Ah, come on! You have her all the time! You be glad I was out of town when you found her!” Shawn joked, setting her down to turn to his brother, the two bear-hugging, so happy to see each other; it had been a while even though they talked on the phone often.
“Hey, Tio Shawn, where’s Angela?” Sasha, his brother’s only daughter, who was ten years old, asked him right away. There were five of them present from seventeen down to five. His 17-year-old nephew stood with his mp3 player ear phones on, grinning at him so much like his father. Derrick and his son were both taller than Shawn; in fact, they were the tallest in the family. Derrick standing 6’4 and his 17-year-old son, 6’5.
“My god, man, look at this kid!” Shawn blasted, staring at his nephew. “What are you guys feeding him? Man, I know you play basketball!” he stated as Angela jumped out of the SUV and Sasha was quick to hug her, so happy to see her cousin, finally another girl to talk and giggle with.
Marcus smiled, showing silver braces on his teeth. “Yeah”¦I’m good, too. We’re gonna have to shoot some hoops, Tio.”
“You sure you wanna do that? ‘Cause I’m good, ask your dad”¦he may have me in height, but I got skills!” Shawn bragged, winking at his brother who laughed, patting him on the back. Derrick was eyeing the attractive young black woman that slowly came around the vehicle to meet his wife who, at the moment, was staring at her in shock.
Sylvia took a deep breath as she stared into the face of a woman she went to school with so long ago.
“Oh, no”¦no freakin’ way”¦oh, my God! Sylvia Martin! I didn’t know you were the Sylvia!”
“Yep”¦in the flesh,” Sylvia presented herself.
“I cannot believe my eyes! Oh, my goodness! Baby! This is the one I’ve been telling you about. This is who junior’s father married!”
Sylvia gaped. “What?” she asked. Meribel was shaking her head, looking from her husband back to Sylvia.
“You”¦were pregnant by Armundo?” Sylvia murmured, stunned.
“Yes, I was! So were two other girls! Then he knocked you up, too. You won him, and I for one, am eternally grateful, because it set me up to get that man right there! I just cannot believe this.”
“Yes”¦good for me…I won him.” Sylvia was anything but happy about that revelation. “I knew about the other two girls, but I didn’t know that you were. Where is your son?”
“He lives in La Crosse. Girl, look at you! I am in total shock! So, you guys divorce?”
“No, he died, Meribel”¦in a car accident about two years ago.”
“No freakin’ way! Oh, my god! Girl, junior had been asking me and his dad for the longest, should he meet his dad…should he try and find him. We kept telling him that it was up to him, but he could never get himself to do it. Besides, he’s always had a father”¦a damn good one!” Meribel went on passionately.
“Honey, can we move this inside, so we can all eat?” Derrick broke in, hungry.
“Okay”¦my goodness, you’re not gonna starve!”
“Well, if you had cooked”¦”
“Oh! Here we go! You were at home today, too!” she lit into him.
“This way, everybody.” Shawn started laughing, shaking his head at them, leading the crew through the door to the hotel as all of his brother’s children piled in, with Angela and Sasha holding hands and going in together. There were six children in total for Derrick McPherson’s clan, starting with their oldest son that Meribel had been pregnant with when he first met her, who was named after him: Derrick Jr., twenty-one; Marcus, seventeen; Luis, fifteen; Shawn Everett the second, thirteen. Meribel introduced them as they walked through; and last, their 5-year-old, Joseph Nathan. The kids carried the KFC as she and Sylvia walked side by side. Sylvia could not believe how much Shawn II looked like his uncle. Meribel and Derrick told her how the family was always teasing him that Shawn must have slipped in from California when he turned over in bed one night. “Girl, the moment his mom saw him, she said, ‘there’s Shawn all over again.’ So, naturally, that’s what we named him.”
Even Shawn was floored by how much the boy’s features were his own, although he’d only seen him four or five times over the years; he was really turning more and more like him with each passing year. He just hoped he wouldn’t be as dumb and angry as he had been. The object of their discussion had nothing on his mind but getting into the chicken bucket. Sylvia and Shawn opened their room doors and the kids went to one side with their food, while the adults talked in the other room eating theirs.
“So, how did you two meet?” Sylvia asked, truly curious.
“I was so heartbroken over being pregnant and losing Armundo to you, that my mother sent me to live with my Tio, who had just bought some land here. Girl, forgetting where the heck I was, I just took off walking one day upset, crying, feeling sorry for myself. Miserable! I musta been about seven months pregnant. Got my silly butt lost in the woods. I must have walked for hours trying to find my way back. Honey, the country in the woods, ain’t nothing like the city””don’t go gettin’ lost there!” She laughed, Sylvia smiled, agreeing.
“Anyway, I start bawling and crying, I’m talking to myself and God, asking why you do this to me! I’m gonna die here! Me and my baby will be found, nothing but bones…that’s all that will be left of us.” She laughed.
“Yeah,” Derrick joined, “It was something to see. I was fishing, getting ready to head back, when I heard her. I got my stuff together and went looking for the source of the wailing, and there she was, sitting at the base of a tree, crying her eyes out. This perfectly round ball-belly protruding from her. It was over for me right then.”
“Aaaah, isn’t he cute!” Meribel pealed, leaning over to give her husband a kiss, picking up where he left off. “Yep, girl, I was a mess and he just swooped in, talked to me and calmed me down, askin’ me my name and was I alright. Where I lived and how did I end up lost in the woods. I could barely talk…’cause I was like”¦hell naaaw! He was like””fo-ine! And all I could think about was, oh man…here I am pregnant, and this too fine tall-ass white dude comes and just blows me away. He took me home with him first, because we were closer to his house than where I walked from. His parents were soooo nice. Next thing, he and his dad drove me back home to my Tio’s, and the rest is history.”
“Well, I’m happy things turned out so well for you. You know, my kids live in La Crosse as well, there’s two of them. I had a girl first, Crystal Bella and then my son, Armundo, he’s a Jr. as well.”
“Wow…lemme show you a picture of my Derrick,” Meribel offered, and Sylvia pulled hers too. They talked for a while longer, Shawn explaining the current scenario that brought them there, and why Angela was with him. He left out the claim she made against him, because he just couldn’t bring himself to share it with his brother; it still hurt and embarrassed him. Derrick and Meribel, during the time they sat and talked, noticed that Sylvia and Shawn didn’t touch, barely looked at each other and they couldn’t help but wonder what was going on. Meribel was going to get to the bottom of it; an hour later, they were ready to roll out, with her announcing, “Sylvia! You’re going to ride with me in the van. You three, go with your dad in Sylvia’s car! You two, go with your Tio Shawn, let’s go.”
Shawn sighed. Actually, he’d wanted to be alone with Sylvia, but giving her a quick glance, hoping she’d look his way proved in vain, she kept her face averted. After everyone was in and ready to pull off for taking Sylvia’s car back, she sat longing for Shawn. As angry as she was, determined still to break it off, she felt his absence. Her body was actually physically moved by the fact that he was in a separate vehicle. Such strong internal turmoil over him just being in another vehicle stunned her, she was afraid that she was in deeper than she ever imagined. They started pulling out of the hotel, Meribel followed Shawn, and Derrick followed his wife.
“Okay…spill it. What’s going on? I ain’t gonna be beating around no bullshit bush. What’s happening with you two?” Meribel asked bluntly.
“Nothings happening…we’re just”¦” Sylvia trailed off, not sure what to say.
“Just what?” Meribel pressed.
“I-I don’t know if we’re going to make it, that’s all.”
“Make it, as in”¦together?”
Sylvia looked at her. “Yes.”
“Why not? Aren’t you in love with him? He sure as hell in love with you!”
“How would you know that?”
“Because you’re all he’s been talking about for the last”¦I don’t know how many months! He’s been calling Derrick for like”¦every week, talking about you. His mom and dad know about you. His other brother and sisters know about you. That tells us, he’s head over heels! Shawn””does not go on and on about any woman! There wasn’t even a big to-do over his first wife, Angela’s mother. He just showed up out of the blue with her and said, ‘Hey everybody I’m married. This is my wife, we’re having a baby.’ But you”¦he can’t stop talking about you. I’m telling you, he and Derrick were on the phone until two in the morning about something that happened with you a while back. I think”¦someone broke into your house and attacked you, and Shawn got there just in time to stop it.”
“You all know about that?” Sylvia asked, surprised.
“Yes, we do! You left, took off, and he was a mess. He didn’t know where you were, if you were even okay. Derrick had to help him think straight and gave him ideas on how to find you, because he couldn’t sleep at night and was keeping us up! Over you! So don’t you sit here telling me, ‘you don’t know if you’re going to make it’!”
Sylvia sat back, more confused than she’d ever been in her life. This picture just painted of Shawn didn’t fit what Georgiana Wherrington painted of him. She was quiet a moment, then said, “I’m so scared of him, Meribel. I’m so afraid of what he makes me feel. There are things that have happened, things brought to my attention that he didn’t share with me. Today I stood at the courthouse feeling an absolute fool. After Armundo, I’m not gonna be stressing and fighting and arguing and being humiliated. I did that enough with Armundo. I learned an important lesson while being married to him; don’t be so quick to defend, until you have all the facts.”
“Hang on, hang on, hang on”¦somebody said something to you? Who?”
“I can’t share what she said because it’s private, but it’s something I’m going to bring before Shawn.”
“Who is she? His ex-wife said something to you?”
“No, her mother.”
“I see, and I take it that it wasn’t good?”
“No, not at all.”
“Could she have been lying?”
“No”¦she knew things that she would have known only if what she said was true.”
“Look! I don’t know what she said. I don’t know what this is all about”¦but what I do know, and what I am positively sure of is this: he is in love with you! Like we’ve never seen him before”¦not ever! Shawn has been through a lot of shit in his life. Stuff that only Derrick and I know about”””
“Stuff like what?” Sylvia asked with curiosity etched on her face.
“Oh, no, no, no, no, girlfriend, you need to get this from him! I’m not telling you shit! I’ve told you all I’m gonna tell you.”
“That’s the problem! He’s not telling me anything! I have to hear bullshit from people like his ex-wife’s mother! That woman should not have had anything to use against me that I wasn’t prepared for! It was up to Shawn to tell me all the important things that might jeopardize our relationship! He claims to love me””then he needs to be straight up with me! After Armundo, I need to be one hundred percent certain. He’s good at sweeping me off my feet, being the dazzling gentlemen and all that, but it’s all bullshit that don’t mean a hill of beans if I can’t trust what we have. Only way I can trust, is by knowing, being equipped up front””then I’ll fight. But I’m not gonna be anybody’s fool. That includes Shawn McPherson.”
“Well”¦I can’t blame you there. You’re right, he should have come clean and told you everything. But”¦in his defence, he’s come back from a long way down. His parents mean the world to him. His brothers and sisters are his heart and soul. He always regrets not being here for them because he took off. All I can tell you is this, Sylvia: he’s made up of all the right stuff. He really is. But that don’t mean he’s perfect. All I know for certain is this: there is no way he would be telling his whole family about you, if this wasn’t deep and real for him. So”¦hey, if you have to”¦give him hell”¦but don’t give him up. You’ll be regretting it just like his ex-wife does, if you do.”
“How do you know that? That she still loves him?”
“Because she sends us Christmas cards still, and calls and tries to talk to me. It’s all to try and keep tabs on him. You can always tell. She was always fishing for what is going on with him. The fact is”¦now”¦it’s all about you. It’s all about you two.”
Sylvia sighed thinking, no…it’s about us three. Then she smiled and corrected herself thinking of Angela. Us four”¦
Chapter 41
“Give me a kiss. Now you know how to act, don’t you? Listen to your uncle and aunt, your grandma and grandpa”””
“I know, daddy, I’ll be good. Thank you for letting me go,” Angela returned, pulling away from her father after a kiss, more excited than she’d been in a long time to be around other kids, and now, her father’s family. She’d been doing nothing but laughing and having fun ever since his brother and wife came with their kids. She turned to Sylvia. “Bye, Sylvia.” Sylvia knelt before her to give her a hug. “Bye-bye, sweetie; can you do me a favor while you’re gone?” she asked. With surprised eyes, Angela nodded. “Sure, Sylvia, what?” Sylvia’s eyes held hers as she began, “First, have lots and lots of fun.” That made Angela nod with a smile. “Second, and this is really, really important, okay?” Angela nodded waiting. “I want you to be very mindful of picking up after yourself. Volunteer to help with the dishes. Don’t leave a mess anywhere you play. Keep your things neat and tidy in one spot, not all over the place, and be quick to pitch in and respond to the adults your father has left you in care of. Will you do that for me?”
“Okay, Sylvie, I will. I’ve never done dishes before, though, but I’ll try.”
“Good enough, that’s all I ask. Now go have fun.” She hugged her and Angela turned and leapt into the running van to take her place next to her cousin Sasha.
“She’ll be fine, see you guys later!” Meribel called as Shawn pulled the van door closed.
“Alright, thanks a lot you two! See ya later,” Shawn finished, backing away from the van so his brother could get going. He stood waving, thinking of the motherly advice Sylvia just gave his daughter, making him even more certain they were meant to be, as he watched the van cruise down the road until it made the curve and was out of sight. With dread he turned to see Sylvia staring off at it as well. Taking a deep breath, he was the first one to speak.
“Okay, she’s gone”¦time for us to talk. So, what’s going on?” he asked as they stood in his driveway.
“I don’t know what’s going on, how about you tell me?”
“I’m not the one with the mood swing, no hostility coming from me,” he assured her.
“First of all, this is not a ‘mood swing’!“
“Alright, alright ,alright, sorry. Wrong words. Whatever the problem is, can we go inside and deal with it?” he asked with his hands raised in surrender.
Rolling her eyes angrily, she turned and made her way to his porch steps, pulling her keys from her purse to unlock the front door. Entering his home, she put her purse and keys on the table there and made her way straight towards the kitchen. At the sink, she turned on the tap to run water, getting a glass, she tested the temperature and filled it. Shawn entered behind her, looking around; in the kitchen on the table lay papers from the police who’d inspected his home. His keys were there as well, as they’d promised””they’d left them for him. He picked up the paperwork and noted it was a list of what they’d taken from the house. His computer, his laptop, and various home movies. It said they would call him when he could come and pick up his equipment. There were four sheets, he stood in the wide doorway, taking deep breaths, looking them over and preparing himself. He glanced up from the papers to watch Sylvia drain two full glasses of water. She turned from the window to look at him, then at the papers in his hands. “What’s that?”
“List of what was taken from here.”
“Maybe you should check around and see how they left the place. I’ll be across the road.”
“I’ll see what they did later, right now””we need to talk, this is more important.”
Sylvia leaned back against the counter, her hands braced backward with the heels of her palms and fingers gripping the countertop, staring across the room at him a few moments and decided to get right to it. “Today”¦while you were in the judge’s chamber with Deidre, her mother had a few words for me. Words that froze me to the core, and shocked the hell out of me. And I’m going to tell you right now, I felt such a complete ass, because there was nothing I could say back to her. Right then, right there, I knew”¦that I don’t know you. I only know what you’ve given me, and I can assure you, it was nothing I could use to rebuff her. All the old bullshit feelings of what I had to face with Armundo slammed right back in on me, full force. Feelings of being in the dark and looking the fool as everyone whispers around me, because they know things that I don’t. I’m telling you right here, right now””I’m not going through it again. This is not what I’d planned for me for the rest of my life. To be honest with you, I’m not so sure anymore if being in your life”¦is a good thing.”
Shawn felt on fire inside. He was rigid with anger, as if another person was sharing his body at that moment, while he gave way to the fantasy of smashing in Georgiana’s face. He’d never struck a woman in his life, but that was one, that he was afraid he’d have no problem slamming. He turned sideways in the doorway, his right hand braced up high as he fought back aggressions he couldn’t use right then. “That bitch,” he muttered low, then looked over at Sylvia.
“So, it’s true? Not that I need you to confirm it, because I already know what she told me is. What I need to know is you. The real you. No more games, okay? Drop the cute grin, drop the charm, drop the bullshit. I need some truths here, if there is any chance of you and I ever marrying. To be honest, I don’t see it happening. There were things you should have told me before you put this freakin’ ring on my finger!” With that, she yanked it off and slammed it on his kitchen counter, taking her hand away as she felt her anger building. “Nothing to say?” she asked.
“Yes, I have plenty to say. I’m just trying to figure the best way to sort it out and lay it on the table for you. But, can you please put the ring back on.”
“No! Hell no! Mention it again, and I’ll launch it out the freakin’ window!”
Shawn’s stomach was aching as he fought for control. “First of all, calm down.”
“No”¦don’t tell me to calm down. I’ll calm down when I know what the hell I’ve gotten myself into!”
“Well, then, at least come and sit down; I need to go get something.”
“I’m fine right where I am.”
He stood staring at her with her stubborn stance. Exhaling deep, he turned, disappearing down the hall. She heard him rummaging through something in one of the back rooms. A few minutes later, he returned with golden, thin tissue carbon-copy papers of some kind and laid them on the table.
“What is that?” she asked.
“Proof.”
“Proof of what?” she pressed.
“Proof that I’ve been tested for HIV four times, each one came back negative”¦proof that I’m clean.”
“Well, that’s sure nice to hear! Why do you feel that is relevant to what’s going on right now?”
“Because I’m gonna come clean. Everything”¦and”¦in a few minutes”¦” he stopped and exhaled nervously as he rubbed his stomach. “Umm, you umm”¦you’ll just need to know that health-wise, disease-wise”¦I’m clean.”
Sylvia felt more dread building, her mind in a whirl as to why he would need to show that proof to her, which suggested a certain lifestyle that he felt a need to test that many times. With her heart hammering, she blurted, “Oh, my god”¦are you gay? Or been gay? Have you slept with men?” she asked with her heart pounding. Shawn looked up incredulously. “Hell no! No, no, no, no, no,” he fired out rapidly.
“Then why the paperwork!”
“Because in my past, when I was very young and very dumb, in my early twenties, I lead a high-sex lifestyle. I mean, at that time, back then”¦I had intercourse with quite a few women. I always used a condom, but they’re not always one hundred percent.”
“Oookay, so”¦when you say, ‘high-sex lifestyle’ and ‘quite a few women””what exactly are you saying?”
“Look, I need you to let me explain from the beginning. Please.”
“I’m listening.”
“Where this is going, I need to warn you that it’s”¦it’s pretty bad. Umm, and I need you to understand that I regret it all”¦but I can’t change it, and I can’t make it go away.”
“You’re beating around the bush, Shawn!”
“Dammit, I can’t help it! I need the fuckin’ bush right now!”
“Wait a minute! Don’t talk to me that way! Who are you cursing at? You gonna start throwing that word around, I’m out of here!”
“I’m sorry. This is not easy for me, okay?”
“Not easy for you! Well, shame on me for putting you through it! How ’bout I rewind the tape? Head across the road and stay there! And you stay here and leave me the hell alone””will that be easier for you?”
“Dammit, of course not! Come on, Sylvia””God! Give me a chance, will you? I need you to stop threatening to destroy this relationship!”
“This relationship was under threat the moment you chose not to come clean from the beginning!” Sylvia blasted back from across the room. “You knew then, when you stood your nekkid ass in that room and held me to staying by your side, talkin’ that mess about love wasn’t enough! You damn straight it ain’t! Be honest with me, I’ll be honest with you! But don’t get frustrated with me because I don’t like standing up looking like the next fool in line for you! I’m not going through it again!” she finished with her temper high, not for a moment did she care if he didn’t like it.
Shawn rapidly scraped his fingers through his hair over his scalp in frustration. “Sylvia, please”¦I’m asking you”¦to”¦to just”¦just give me a chance to explain myself. Just give me that. I want to tell you everything, but”¦it’s not easy because”¦it’s something I’m not proud of. And”¦I don’t”¦I don’t wanna lose you.” He gazed at her, into her eyes, praying that she believed that. Sylvia glanced away, shaking her head, calling herself all kinds of fool. Lord, I knew a good-looking man ain’t about nothing but problems! Why the heck did I do this to myself? She shook her head thinking, she couldn’t look at him and keep her senses. “Alright”¦I’m listening.”
“Will you come sit down?”
“No! I don’t wanna sit down! Either talk, or I’m leaving!”
“Okay”¦from the beginning. I left school. I went against my parent’s advice to attend college; I argued with them and ran off. Took my art supplies and camera, thinking my talent would carry me when I made it to L.A. and showed people what I could do. They weren’t impressed, and I admit, I wasn’t as good then as I am now. Anyway, I took my savings with me, and went through it in about four months. I was broke, hungry, and on the verge of being kicked out because I couldn’t pay my next month’s rent. I owed on utilities and, ummm, it was bad””hard.”
“Why didn’t you go back home?” she turned back to him to ask.
“Because I was stupid! My pride wouldn’t let me! I’d said some things and I just couldn’t humble myself and return, admitting they were right, my parents””so I stayed. I painted houses, I washed windows, and then had to chase down the guy to get paid.” He sighed. “I then took a job in a restaurant, bussing tables, then waiting them. That’s where I met Jesse.”
“Who is Jesse?” she asked.
Shawn blew out again, stalling, thinking, fighting with his emotions; he sat down.
“Some people might have considered him the wrong person to have come into my life, but”¦he”¦he was like a brother to me”¦you know, the big brother I never had.” Shawn started swallowing back moisture in his mouth, feeling his eyes burn just thinking about Jesse.
Sylvia was stunned by his actions and covered her mouth, she had to steel herself not to go to him, feeling that he kept her on a constant emotional roller coaster. Sometimes feeling she wanted to tell him to go to hell, and in the blink of an eye, she was longing for him. Crazy”¦he made her crazy, now she was fighting softening, seeing the battle he was up against with something from his past.
“Aaah, shit.” He gasped, sitting back roughly, pushing at his eyes and then clamping his hands over his head, giving himself a moment. He missed Jesse right then, missed him like hell.
“I loved him”¦and my stupid ass”¦I got him killed,” he paused a moment, thinking about him, thinking about that day, then stood and left the room because telling her this was opening up a maelstrom of raw emotions he thought deeply buried. Sylvia stood in the kitchen with her mind working, wondering what to do now. Suddenly Shawn showed up again, his eyes red, holding a photo album. He walked over to her and laid it on the counter, and tapped a picture with his index finger. “That’s Jesse.”
She turned and looked at the photo. There with a handsome black man was a very young Shawn; much skinnier, not as muscular, but he was very toned and fit looking. She’d seen these pictures when cleaning his home months earlier. They were in a restaurant, arms across each other’s backs and smiling brightly for the camera. Shawn’s hair was really long, and the black man had a small, neat, well-shaped afro. There were other pictures of them together. Shawn with his hair cut, some pictures he was smiling, some not. There were many of the two of them together. Sylvia looked up at him as he sat across the room at the table, his elbows on his knees, his hands hung between as he hung his head.
“How, Shawn”¦how did you get him killed?” she asked.
He looked up and said right out, “We made money doing porn, Sylvia. Having intercourse with women in front of a camera.”
“Porn?!”
“Yes.”
“You did porn!“
“I did porn. I did porn for nearly two years with Jesse. Chocolate-Vanilla Swirl team””that was us. It pulled me out of the shit”¦” The thought of that ironic statement made Shawn sit back and chuckle to himself. “Well, out of being broke and hungry. No way near being out of the shit.”
“I can’t believe you did porn. You did porn! How could you do that?” Sylvia stood away from the counter, her eyes wide, her jaw locked open incredulous. “Oh, my god””porn! How could you?”
“Survival! I did it to survive! A big head! One at one end and one at the other!”
“Don’t be vulgar!” Sylvia snapped.
Shawn leapt to his feet. “I’m just telling you the truth, okay? Sorry I’m not interpreting it in a way that best appeals to you!” he yelled.
“You know what”¦screw this”¦you have everything else! I’m outta here!” She went to charge past him, heading for the door.
“Oh, so you’re just gonna run out? Just like that?” he shouted, growing more afraid, which came out as anger.
“Goodbye!” she shouted, snatching up her purse and keys, heading out the door. Shawn couldn’t just stand there and let her leave.
“Don’t do this, Sylvia””please!” he called, heading out the door behind her, going down his steps to follow her across the road. She ignored him and continued on. He knew if she went in that house, after all he did to make it secure, he wouldn’t be able to get in. He ran past her to block her way from the kitchen door.
“Get out of my way!” she ordered through a tight jaw.
“No! Come on, Sylvia! God””let me finish!”
“You are finished! So are we””now move!”
“No! Hell no! You’re gonna hear me out, dammit!” he returned, panicking.
She turned and tried to run for her front door; he took off and passed her again. Angry that he wouldn’t let her pass, she launched her purse at him and shouted, “Get out of my way and let me in my house!”
Shawn deflected the purse, it hit the ground, spilling out all of her contents. “Let me go in with you so I can finish!”
Sylvia ignored him and turned to sprint back across the road to his house, her plan was to lock him out to get away from him. “
Sylvia!” Shawn bellowed her name, just as she stopped from running in front of an oncoming truck. The driver swerved to miss her and screeched to a halt, sliding over the gritty country road, frightened out of his wits, he shouted at her, “Lady, are you fuckin’ nuts? Trying to get yourself killed? Jesus Christ!”
The adrenaline rush of horror of what could have happened, caused instant dizziness, dropping her to her knees. Shawn was there in a flash, picking her up, his heart was pounding, the pulse in his neck was surging like crazy. The truck driver shook his head, slammed on the gas and spun his tires, kicking up dust””he was out of there. Shawn carried Sylvia into his house and went straight to his bedroom with her, her arms were around his neck as he lowered her to the bed.
“Are you crazy!” he ground out through gnashed teeth, shaking so bad from it, he had to sit down as she turned away from him, dizzy with her own heart feeling as if it would burst from her chest. “You could have been killed! Darting out into the road like that!” His face was red, his body charged with fright and excitment.
“I asked you to leave me alone! Why couldn’t you just leave me be and let me in my house!” she sat up, crying out. He grabbed her by the upper arms and slammed her onto her back on the bed, scaring her as he got to his knees over her and said right into her face, close enough so she could count his lashes.
“Because””I””can’t””let you gooo! Understand?” he bit out, shaking her with each word, pressing her into the mattress with the force of what he felt. “You””have become””the very air””that I breathe. And I – I can’t let you go,” he grated with tears in his eyes. “You wanna hit me? Hm? Will that make you feel better? You can hit me! Come on””get up – go ahead””hit me!” He moved up and back from her so she could sit up. “Come on, hit me, kick me, bite me, try to knock my ass out””go at me until you can’t go anymore. I can take it. Come on, hit me!” he growled out, hoarse, slamming his balled fist into his chest with three hard pounds to illustrate how hard””enough to scare Sylvia as she sat up and backed away, staring at him, both of them were breathing hard. “I can take that, Sylvia”¦but I can’t take not having you. That I can’t take.”
Chapter 42
Shawn was sitting at the side of the bed, now quiet, with his head in his hands. His fingers threaded through his hair, elbows on knees working to get a grip of himself. Sylvia had her back against the headboard of his bed, leaving him alone to calm down. He’d scared her. She knew what he could do. Had seen what he could do. Today was the first time he’d been rough with her, her upper arms were throbbing from his grip. Yes he was highly strung right then, his emotions getting the best of him, but once again, she sat with the hardcore truth of just how potent a man’s physical strength was compared to that of a woman. She couldn’t even replay in her mind his picking her up, he’d done it so fast. He was very hard, solid and strong, and for once, she sat thanking God he was not a hitter.
Armundo had been.
She’d suffered quite a few black eyes from him, busted lips, and numerous bruises. Granted, she’d always fought back with everything in her, often leaving him scarred and bleeding, but it was a frightening and traumatic ordeal that she never wanted to go through again. Shawn was bigger and taller than Armundo had been. Armundo had only been 5’7, when they started out, maybe one hundred-sixty pounds. Yet he could toss her about like it was no big deal. Later on, always apologizing, always regretting, whether that be from his jail cell or not. Yeah, she called the police on him. In a heartbeat. They’d run the entire gauntlet in their marriage. She’d survived it all. Had become a stronger person, with full knowledge of what she wanted in her life, now that she’d been given another chance to become the woman she worked so hard to be. Her prayer now was that Shawn never became so angry that he could hit her. His next action made her wonder if he could read her mind, because he sat up and turned to look at her.
“I’m sorry I lost my temper with you. I would never hit you”¦you do know that, don’t you? I know I was a little rough with you, it’s just that”¦if that truck had actually hit you, I would have gone totally insane right then. I would never hit you, no matter what. I need you to have faith in me, at least on that one.”
Sylvia nodded her head, she believed him.
“I love you, Sylvia. Almighty God knows I do. I want to build my entire life, or rather, what’s left of it”¦with you. I’ve blown the first half straight to hell, all except for Angela. I have to do this half right””that’s why I can’t let you go. Because you”¦are what I’ve always wanted. And”¦my mom was over the roof when she heard that you were black.”
That sat Sylvia forward. “What? That I’m black? Why?”
Shawn shook his head and chuckled. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it later. She’s got this health theory thing about people, races, and the dividing off of man. Believe me, she’ll give it to you when she gets a hold of you.” He smiled then turned on the bed, shifting his right leg on and reached over and took her hand in his. “Please”¦let me finish. Stay calm and listen, then you’ll understand what’s really going on. Please?”
Quietly, Sylvia nodded.
“Okay”¦I did porn with Jesse. He was killed””shot because we both refused to do a session with two little girls.”
“Oh, my god! Oh nooo!”
“Yeah…it was bad. He made a stand, and of course, I wouldn’t do it either; we ended up in a fight with the man over it all, because I didn’t have sense enough to know that we needed to get out first. Jesse pulled his gun and started shooting to get this dude off of me, told me to run. I did, thinking Jesse would, too. He never made it. One of the little girls was killed as well. I was on probation for over two years behind it. My parents never knew because I wrote them letters, telling them lies about this success story I was supposed to be living in. Giving them every excuse imaginable to keep them from visiting me as they were pressing to do. I wouldn’t give them my address, too scared they’d just show up and know the truth.”
Sylvia moved closer to him, silently listening as he went on.
“Well, the restaurant was a guaranteed job for me, and so I went back to it. I, ummm, was offered various work from those that knew me from my porn days, and at first I turned them down, but I couldn’t maintain my lifestyle that Jesse had made possible for us by just working at the restaurant. So I started doing”¦porn stuff again. I, umm, well”¦yeesh”¦brace yourself,” he warned, and Sylvia did. “I was paid well to make a mold. So, in sex novelty shops out there wherever, there is a dildo that was made from me.”
“What?” she asked in disbelief.
“A dildo”¦you know, an artificial penis for women. It’s called Oscar.”
Sylvia covered her face and fell back on the bed. She wasn’t shouting or screaming, just stunned.
“Baby”¦you okay?” he asked.
“Go on”¦finish”¦I’m taking it all in. Don’t mind me, I’m just”¦just trying to”¦to”¦” She started laughing then, from a small laugh to one that had her rolling with it. She was hysterical with it. “I’m sorry”¦forgive me”¦I’m just”¦I can’t believe this. This is my punishment for daring to believe that I could control and structure my life, drama free. For trying to create for myself, a perfect world! My mama always said, ‘The devil is busy! You can run from him, but you cannot hide!’ Mama was right.”
“Sooo, are you calling me the devil?” Shawn asked, not sure which way this was going. He wasn’t for one moment, stupid enough to believe her laughter meant she was enjoying his story.
“No, Shawn, I’m not. But he sure has had a good time with you.” She sniffed, trying to sit up again. “I’m sorry, go on…finish it.”
“Well, my next job was the winner of them all. I heard that I could earn five hundred dollars a night fulfilling a woman’s sexual fantasy. So I went in and had a private interview with Melba, she liked me, but I had to meet a certain criteria, so I was ordered to strip down to be examined like a piece of meat. Satisfied, she then sent me to be tested, and I passed the immediate VD test they give all the men she hired. Next, I had to learn the proper procedure of making a woman climax. I had to learn that the sex was not about me, but about her. After two weeks of watching live performances”””
“Wait a minute, you are kidding me, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m not. I was thoroughly trained to bring a woman to climax. How to touch her, where to touch her, what to say, what she wants to hear, what she doesn’t. How to read her, and how to keep myself from premature ejaculation until she has climaxed no less than three times.”
“Oh”¦my”¦goodness.”
“Yeah”¦and, ummm, if she didn’t climax three times, you didn’t get paid.”
“Are you serious!”
“Oh, yeah, I am; I kid you not. Twice I didn’t get paid; three strikes, and you were out””fired. So I became good at it. Annnnd, that’s when the worst thing that could happen, did.”
“What?”
“One of the women, my new client””guess who she was?”
Sylvia’s mouth flew open. “Deidre’s mother!”
“You got it, baby. She didn’t know me because we were required to wear costumes and masks, but I could see her. Well, I had to get paid, so I did my job, and I did it well. She wanted me back again. To sweeten the pot, she doubled what I’d get if Melba paired her up with me again. The second night I made one thousand off of her.”
“Oh, my God, that lying bitch made it out that you and her were in a relationship! That you left her for her daughter!” Sylvia shook her head. That’s okay, one point for you, ol’lady, but it will be your last point against me, she thought.
“No way! I swear to you, Sylvie, she was nothing but a job I had to do. Then I was given to this woman who didn’t want sex at all. She’d given a picture of her son to Melba and asked if there was any one of us that looked like him. The only similarities between her son and me was that we both had black hair and hazel-blue eyes. Melba sent me to her and all I had to do was keep her company, pretend to be her son. It was easy, and I was sick of prostituting myself…she was incredible, and I missed my own mother so much, that I poured it on and I gained more from it than she did, I think. After spending a week with her, she paid Melba for my contract outright. I don’t know how much it was, but I know one thing: Melba was all about the money, so she paid well. While the men were paid five hundred, she rolled up five thousand per guy per night and there were ten of us. If the woman didn’t climax three times, she was only paid twenty-five hundred, and as for us, no matter how bad it was to go through, we got nothing.”
“Oh, my goodness, you’re blowing me away with this. I can’t believe it!”
“I swear to God, every word is true!” he declared. “It was the ugliest, most hated time of my life until that old lady bought me out.”
“Oh, I believe it”¦I just can’t”¦believe it, you know what I mean?”
Shawn sighed, still unable to believe it himself sometimes. “Anyway, I went off with Merriam Styles”””
“Ohh, that’s where your work name comes from!”
“Yep, because of her, I’m living my dream. I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to do. She pressed me to return to school. I almost didn’t, I mean, I was in my early thirties by then, but she was willing to pay for it all. She really did well by me. She sent me home to visit my folks in grand style twice a year, of how I’d bragged. And so the least that I could do was go back to school, and there is where I met Deidre. I was attracted to her gentle nature, her aloofness, yet”¦she wasn’t prejudiced. She didn’t treat black people as if they were beneath her, that impressed me, it made me feel that she was the one, and I was hooked. I pursued, she got pregnant, we got married. We walked into her home for me to meet her parents, and I’m telling you, Sylvia, I almost swallowed my tongue when her mother walked up. Man, I’m telling you, it was like being kicked by a mule. Sylvia, I tried everything in me to stay away from her, but she stalked me like the sex-hungry slut she is. She did everything in her power to break Deidre and me up, and succeeded. Then she turned on the stalking even more. Showing up at my place, phoning me, having someone follow me, offering me all kinds of money to be with her. Going on and on about knowing that I was the one from Melba’s…I denied it, have continued to deny it. But she wouldn’t leave me alone. Anyway, I had enough. You see, Merriam had died a year after Deidre and I married, and then when our marriage fell apart, I’d had enough of California. I was sick and tired of dealing with Deidre’s mother, and her father hated my guts as well. I woke up one morning, called my dad, and asked him would he find me some property to move to, I was coming home. He called me up a month later to tell me about this property and the price. I didn’t care about anything but having a place to come home to. Low and behold, the money I rejected years ago for college, they used to purchase this for me”¦ and here I am.”
“Wow”¦I see.”
“Emmm, so you do”¦and it’s the whole truth, the honest-to-God truth. So now I’m asking you”¦again””hang on.” He shot up and went into the kitchen and returned with her ring and the papers. “Proof that I’m clean. I was tested when that whole big AIDS scare first made the headlines years back. Tested again six years later. Tested again twelve years ago, and tested for the last time three years ago. A clean bill of health, right here.”
Sylvia smiled and nodded.
He sat down next to her. “This is yours”¦this belongs here!” he announced, slipping the ring back on her finger. “You know everything now. Stay with me, please, let’s make what’s left of the rest of our lives, one where we have each other. I need to know”¦that no one”¦can get between what we have. Please?”
Sylvia ran everything through her mind. Staring into his eyes, she knew there was no turning back. While his past was indeed a shocker, she loved this man. Her eyes searched out ever detail of his face, his hair. He was starting to gray a bit; she thought back to the pictures of him in the album, he was better looking now. He was aging the way all men should, with a dignity and masculinity that was stunning and beautiful. His eyes, those eyes”¦they did things to the deepest core of her. They could be hard as flint and pierce you right through, or soft, as they were right then, to make you melt into a warm pool at his feet. Sylvia knew she was locked hard in love with him. Where his blood ceased to flow in his body, it continued on in her own. Funny how she stared at him, she didn’t see a white man anymore, just”¦her man. She was carrying his child.
“If I could do it all over, Sylvie”¦if I could make it all go away and not happen””” She stopped him, covering his lips with her fingers.
“If you did”¦you wouldn’t be”¦the man you are now. As callous as this might sound, I wouldn’t change a thing””I love you. And”¦the ring stays on.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to her. Angling her head, she brought his mouth to hers and worked her tongue between his lips, falling slowly back as she pulled him on top of her. Shawn was only eager to comply, opening his mouth and snaking his tongue deep into hers. She spread her thighs so he could nestle there, grinding his groin against her heat, both of them coming down from the rush of a fight and their passions ran high. The kiss was flammable, engulfing them both. Sylvia felt a desperateness sweep over her, the weight of his strong larger body pressing down on her, made her kiss him back equally as strong. The heavy breathing among the struggle to strip their clothes off heightened her need. Two minutes into it, and their clothes were off. Shawn was all over her, kissing every inch of her body. Worshipping her breasts, his mouth and tongue laving down over her stomach and moving down as he went. Sylvia lay panting madly, delirious as he covered her lower belly in kisses, confidently declaring, “My baby’s in here…isn’t it? You’re pregnant with my baby.”
Sylvia nodded, biting into her bottom lip as he kissed her belly, his hands cupping the cheeks of her butt, squeezing as he loved her like crazy. Suddenly, one of his large hands was there between her thighs, stroking her there, preparing her. He left her belly and went lower, spreading her thighs as he moved into place, with his fingers he spread her and with his tongue, he treated her to some of his lessons learned long ago, licking and stroking her, needing to worship and adore her. Sylvia experienced absolute insanity, her mind was scattered with a million unobtainable images as she gasped, her back arching off the bed as he went into desperately drinking every drop, tasting, sopping up all that he could of her. With a crazy madness, as if she were possessed, Sylvia exploded, she never knew that a climax could be so powerful. Screaming and crying out his name as she did, it was a blessing that they were the only two that occupied that road. By the time Shawn finished with laving, loving and working her with his tongue, she was panting from a powerful mating delirium. Her legs were trembling, they felt like jelly with Shawn’s hands rubbing them and then all over her again, working his way back up her body slowly. She was so sensitive, she was whimpering from his touch, panting and pushing him away, but he was far from being finished with her. Not until her second climax did he carefully enter her, using every muscle in his body not to insert his entire length; he was not about to jeopardize his child. His strokes were slow and measured, careful and concentrated, sending Sylvia even deeper into the maelstrom, just as she was trying to come up for air, her body was gleaming with perspiration. The muscles of her entrance pulsed tight around him, gripping, drawing and pulling his thick length deeper, sucking at him and trying to have all of him, knowing if she did how it would hurt”¦but mindless with passion, she didn’t care.
“No”¦don’t”¦let me control it”¦I’m not gonna risk my baby”¦” he panted, kissing her face, his hand squeezing her breast, his thumb working her tender nipple.
“Oh, Shawn”¦Shawn”¦” she panted with her hands rubbing up and down his strong thick arms, over his back, she pulled her knees up along his waist as she felt another climax building within her after the last two. “Shawn!” she gasped as he kept a steady pace, his hips and pelvis rolling forward to push himself deeper, to only draw out enough to make her head start thrashing again. “Shawn!” He was feeling it now, too; he was ready to let it go, determined to hold it just in time to meet her there at that point of release, his heart was pounding in his chest, his breathing labored as sweat rolled from him while he kept control, increasing the pleasure and sensation. “Shawn”¦Shawn”¦Sha-a-awwn”¦Ooooh, my Gooood”¦Oooh, shi-i-i-t, Shawn”¦Oh, my GOD!” Sylvia screamed as she exploded again, just as he started grunting and thrusting closer to complete insertion, and then he slid all the way, Sylvia gasped, holding her breath, she was full to the brim with him, her head digging back into her pillow as he stayed put, frozen as he let his body purged itself of a billion swimmers.
Five minutes later after their breathing calmed a bit, Sylvia lay in his arms, drowsy and fighting off sleep as she nodded to his question. “Are you alright?” She hugged him tighter, squeezing him a moment as she smiled. “You know, I should be furious with you,” she said into his his chest, he was turned on his side facing her, with his leg over hers, his arms around her, kissing her face and forehead. He chuckled hearing that. “Oh, yeah, for what now?” he asked. “You got me pregnant on purpose”¦didn’t ask me, didn’t plan it with me, just did it.”
“I want babies, Sylvia.”
“Shawn, I’m thirty-eight years old”¦you’re forty-two! It’s a little late for us to be starting a family. I already have two kids.”
“It’s happening more often than you know with couples our age. And the other two are grown and gone”¦this is a new beginning; we’re gonna have three together.”
Sylvia moved back away from him to look him in the face. “Are you crazy? I’m not having two more. This is it!”
“Bullshit! I’m gone pop off two more in there before you can blink!”
“Shawn!” she shouted, shocked, and then started laughing. “Your ass is crazy! Do you know that? I’m getting tied up after this one!”
“Oh, no you’re not!”
“Oh, yes I am!”
“I said no! I’m the man here! You best start getting that into your head!”
Sylvia gasped. “Hellooo, this is my body”””
“Perhaps, but I’m using it right now””baby one on the way””two more to go! If you had any sense, you’d build a twin pack! One less trip to the hospital.”
“A twin pack! Shawn, have you lost your min’? You don’t even know if I’m pregnant now. I mean, we’re just assuming I am. We could both be wrong.”
That made him lean up and think. Like a shot, he was out of the bed and going into the bathroom and into the shower. Sylvia rose to use the sink to wash herself while he was in the shower. “Hey!” he called out. She chuckled. “Sorry!” Rinsing herself and turned the tap off after shocking him with cold water. She did a quick dry, still naked, and laid back down, too tired to bother with getting a full shower right then or care about what he was doing. Fifteen minutes later, he walked into the room, drying off and getting dressed. She was wrapped up in the covers, slipping off to sleep. “What are you doing?” she asked sleepily.
“I’m going to get three different pregnancy test kits. You’ll have to do them first thing in the morning”¦then we’ll know for sure.”
“Shawn, three”¦I don’t think it takes three.”
“Gotta be sure!” he said, tying his trainers. He was ready to go, leaned back to her and kissed her forehead. “Be right back!”
She mumbled something and went to sleep.
She never heard him leave, hadn’t heard him return.
He climbed back in bed, tried to get her to wake up and eat the burgers and fries he’d picked up on the way home, she only mumbled, turned over and went back to sleep. Shawn stayed up and ate, looked over his stuff to see what the cops had actually gone through, remembered her purse and its contents on the ground on her front lawn, and went to pick all of that up. He returned and clicked on the TV, went in and looked at Sylvia sleeping in his bed, left and came back with his sketching pad. He sat on the floor across from where she lay on her stomach, her right arm hung over the side of the bed, the sheet came only to her lower back, her hair lay all over her head, and her face was in beautiful peaceful slumber. He sketched her, her brown-toned skin a contrast with his white sheets, what would come to be the first of many sketches he’d do of his Sylvie. Satisfied with the rough drawing, he rose, stretching his neck and arms, walking into his living room and plopped down in the sofa, calling his parents to make sure Angela was alright and to tell them that he and Sylvia would be coming there in another day or so. They had a houseful, as he could hear. It was spring cleaning week, with all the kids out of school and converging on them. He talked to Angela a moment, and then with Meribel, and realized she must have known something had been wrong.
“So, everything is okay?” she asked.
“Everything is fine,” he answered, grinning.
“Ooooh, papi”¦I’m so happy for you! You deserve to be happy. Okay”¦talk to you later, Joseph just fell and busted his lip. ‘Aaah, mijo”¦come let mommy look at it”¦” Smiling, he hung up the phone. It was 10:55pm and he couldn’t sleep. He checked the doors to make sure they were locked and then went to bed, clicking on the TV and laying there, flicking channels impatiently waiting to get sleepy and for morning to come. He gazed to his left, Sylvia slept on. He reached over and rubbed the round curve of her hip under the sheet, his thumb caressing her smooth skin, she was on her side now, facing away from him. She moaned a little, but did not wake. He clicked through more channels, keeping his hand there, finally feeling like a man with true treasures and possessions: his home, his world, his woman by his side.
5:30 the next morning”¦
“Shawn”¦go away”¦I will when I get up.”
“No, now, I can’t wait any longer! Get up””just pee in this cup, I’ll do the rest.”
Sylvia chuckled, turning away from him, feeling the creeping claws of nausea again already. “Sha-a-awn”¦go leave me alone,” she squeaked out, but he wasn’t having it. He pulled her from the bed with the sheet around her, took her into the bathroom, and passed her a plastic cup. “Fill it, and then you can go back to bed.”
“With you standing here?”
“Baby, I can’t get no closer to it than I was yesterday.”
She slapped him playfully on the chest. “Shawn! Why do you have to say it””wit’ yo’nasty butt! Dirty ole man!”
“Yeah”¦right”¦you didn’t mind Mr. Nasty when he was busy on you. This dirty ole man had you in ‘shit-Shawn’ mode all the way, baby!” he teased, laughing.
“You want me to pee in this cup?” she asked to shut him up, trying not to grin. She wanted to go back to bed.
“Okay, I’m sorry”¦pee away, please.”
A moment later, she walked out of the bathroom and climbed back in bed, leaving the pee in the cup to him. Ten minutes later, he woke her up, shouting at the top of his lungs from the bathroom. “Yeeehaaaw! Yeah, baby! Yes! All three””yes! Sylvie”¦we’re pregnant, baby! Papa did ya good style!” He grinned, doing a jig with nothing but his underwear on.
Sylvia smiled and tried to get back to sleep thinking, Hmph, you ain’t need to tell me that. But having the proof brought her such a joy, she would have never believed she’d feel so good about it. The bed moved and shook with him jumping in to pull her back against him. “Havin’ my baby”¦what a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me”¦” he squeezed her back against him, singing joyfully in her ear.
“Shaa-a-awn!” She was giggling as he threw one of his big thick legs across her hip, drawing her closer, tighter to him, singing on, “She’s havin’ my baby, ’cause she’s a woman in love and she loves what I’m doin”¦to”¦her”¦”
“Shawn”¦emmm, I wanna go back to sleep.”
“Havin’ my ba-by”¦” he went on singing, rockin’ her and squeezing her as if he could pull her within him and carry them both to protect them from the world, his eyes moist from his joy, kissing her neck and ear, her temple. Sylvia loved every minute of it as she dropped back off to sleep with such a feeling of fulfilment””it was in her heart, in her body, in her soul.
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