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Two Short excerpts-Lauri Robinson

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Here’s a short excerpt from Guardian Bride:

His intent gaze wandered over her face for a long, silent moment before he asked, “What about you, Summer? What do you like?”
This time she did stop herself from saying you. But just barely, for it surely was the only thought zipping around in her head. All of a sudden, she knew it was time to leave””while she still could. “I like patients who follow doctor’s orders. And it’s time you get some sleep.”
“There’s not a doctor here.”
Had his voice always sounded so husky and persuasive? She squirmed, preparing to stand, but his hold on her hand tightened.
“The doctor left orders with me for you to follow.” Was that her voice sounding so shaky? She swallowed. “And one of those orders was lots of sleep.”
He closed his eyes. “I guess I am a little sleepy. But will you stay a little longer? Just talk as I drift off.”
“About what?” she asked, more than willing to stay.
He yawned. “Whatever you want.” He rolled his hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “Just don’t leave.”
“I won’t,” she promised.
“Neither will I,” he said, clearly drifting off into slumber land.

And one from Her Midnight Cowboy:

They were through the doorway, and he kept moving, forcing her down the hall. “Yes, you.” His nose bumped hers. “You will not parade yourself about half dressed. Not in front of me or anyone else.”
She grabbed the end post of the large staircase, stopping both of them. “Not even my father tells m”””
“Nor will you ride the hills by yourself, or run to town on a whim.” He laid a hand on the stair railing, curling his fingers around the polished wood for support. No longer whispering, he said, “I have ten thousand head of cattle to see to, I don’t need any trouble from you.”
Huffing, she asked, “Trouble from me?”
“Yes.” He nodded at the second floor. “Now hightail your little butt upstairs and get dressed.”
Her eyes widened. “You can’t tell me what to do.”
“Oh, yes, I can.” He took a step back and pointed upstairs. “Go, now.”
Angel’s chin dropped. “I don’t”””
The sting of his palm connecting with her backside stopped her outburst. It had been action without thought. Being responsible for her virtue was more than he bargained for. “Go before I drag you up those stairs and dress you myself.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Try me.” he challenged.
The stare down lasted a few minutes before she gave in and stomped up the stairs. Stopping on about the fifth one, she turned around and glared at him. “You’ll rue this day, Mr. McGuire.”
His eyes locked on the way her breasts rose and fell. “I already do, Angel girl. I already do.”

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You’ve just typed The End. Sigh! You’re done…

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 Merciless reading -- Spotting problem scenes and deciding on a solution.
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 Spicing up the sex – What to do about a love scene that just lies there.
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You’ve just typed The End. Sigh! You’re done…

Not so fast. You can be absolutely sure that somewhere in that stack of pages are: embarrassing plot holes; limp love scenes; sentences that clank instead of ring; conflicts that go nowhere; colorless cardboard characters; and fight scenes with absolutely no punch.

But don’t despair. That, my dear romance novelists, is why God made rewrites.

In this month-long online class, New York Times bestselling author Angela Knight will demonstrate how to excavate the outstanding book buried under layers of dreck. She’ll cover everything from finding and plugging logic holes to transforming a dull love scene into something that will make your reader’s toes twitch.

What’s more, you’ll be able to email your work to Angela for private critique and help figuring out how to fix problematic scenes.

Topics include:

Introduction -- What the class will cover
More than Storytelling -- A terrific story does you no good if your writing is limp, confusing or so illogical you break your reader’s suspension of disbelief. This lesson will explore why rewrites are crucial to excavating and polishing your gem of a story.
Merciless reading -- Spotting problem scenes and deciding on a solution.
Hunting Holes -- Plugging pesky plot holes. “Oh, my God, this makes no sense! How am I going to fix this without throwing out the book?”
Razor Blade Fangs -- Using emotion to give a dull scene big, sharp, pointy teeth.
The Dance of Dialog – Adding interest and sparkle to flat dialog
For God’s Sake, Tell a Joke – Snark, smartassery and sarcasm.
Spicing up the sex – What to do about a love scene that just lies there.
Tear Jerking – Depicting the character’s pain without getting maudlin.
Blood, Sex and Romance -- Giving a fight scene maximum punch
Down in the Dumps – Repairing info dumps.
Fixing a shi**y sentence: How to spot and fix sentences that stop readers in their tracks.
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