Written by Mercedes Keyes
Interracial drama series
Overall rating R
Chapter 70
Twelve messages from his mother. Seven from Shanna.
Jake lay in bed rubbing his eyes. He'd been dodging speaking with his mother because he knew what it was about. Knew what they both wanted. It was about Sylvia.
Sylvia… finally… there was one – who was indeed different from the rest. The fact that she'd gone to his mother and confided in Shanna confirmed what he knew was true about her. He knew it beyond a doubt that day in her house. When he sat and waited on her to know he was there, to wake up to his adoring presence. It wasn't the first time he'd played that card. That was the one that usually helped him make immediate progress. He'd used it on two of Shawn's girls and had used it on Doris as well… each time, success. There was something about him being there silently watching them that had driven their already in place curiosity clear through the roof. Each had played the shock role. Each had sat up in bed, hand to heart, startled. But while pretending to be shocked, they'd been turned on.
Turned on and anticipating his next move, he'd eased onto the bed with them, and they'd pretended to try and escape him. Grinning, he knew the game, knew it well. A little struggle would ensue until he kissed them, held them in place a moment murmuring gently, and they caved. When even younger, by other means, Christine had caved after being Shawn's girlfriend for three months. Granted, she'd been drinking, with two other girls. But still, all they had to be was curious, just enough for him to work on them… and she had been. In her case, the results of his success had been a three year relationship that dragged on because she claimed that he'd gotten her pregnant. He swore never to go near her again and because he'd gotten wasted, he fooled around and got her pregnant again. He broke it off for good that second time, but he was stuck – in a sense with her in his life because of his two boys. His father had been adamant that he would support them. That he would take care of them, so he'd paid for the error of his ways by having to work and support them ever since. Bart didn't play when it came to things like that. No son of his would be accused of fathering a child and then deserting the mother and child. Because of that, he'd never gone on to higher education. His father felt that his sons were his first responsibility – and so he'd been at the lumber company where he worked since then, a few years later, he tripped up and did it again, getting another girl pregnant. She had just been a one night stand, quickie that back fired on him after attending a party, he'd even used a condom. To that day, he still swore she did something to make sure he got her pregnant, but for the life of him, he didn't know what, so there was his son, Paul.
Doris was another one that he'd gotten with the move. One of the supervisors at his job pissed him off, was getting on his case too much. Deliberately singling him out to mess with, intimidated because they were both being considered for a higher position. Jake was being considered because he'd been working for the lumber company for years. Knew all the ins and outs, from front to back, top to bottom. The supervisor was pissed because he'd been there for only 2 years, and didn't know all that Jake knew. However, he had an education. He had credentials, an associates degree. However, the top boss was still considering Jake for the position instead. Eventually, politics and bullshit won, and the supervisor ended up getting the job they both were going for. He made the mistake of rubbing it into Jake's face. Jake smiled, found out who his wife was, and then fucked her and wrecked his marriage and humiliated him.
Doris…
They'd been together since. He wasn't in love with her but she had money, and provided well. While at his job, the big boss felt bad about Jake being passed over for the better position, so he kind of let him get away with things. Not much… but enough. Yet, there was no one more dependable on the job because all bullshit aside, Jake was a hard worker.
Jake turned his head to look at the digital read out on his bedside alarm clock. It was 5:35 Friday morning. His brother's wedding day to Sylvia.
His mother had been trying like crazy to contact him about her. She was not happy. He just didn't feel like dealing with it. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't need to hear it. He knew that what he was doing was wrong. Especially considering that she… unlike the others, was different.
That day as he'd sat watching her sleep, she woke to his presence, there had not been a shred of curiosity. That had been all the proof that he'd needed. After all, he'd kissed her once, had there been a curiosity, she would have wanted him to repeat it, even if one more time, no – not in the least of bits had she been curious, nor a desire for a repoeat of his kisses, not even a small bit. He knew the signs when they were. There was the deep breathing and struggle, the hesitation, the eyes saying yes, the body saying yes, while the mouth was saying no. That had not been the case with Sylvia. Everything about her, had been saying … No! To see, hear and witness the actual body language of a woman telling him no and meaning it was a wake up call for him. She had put as much distance between them as possible – immediately. No hesitation what so ever. She had been truly angry.
Jake inhaled deep and long. 'Why didn't I find her first God? Why did you have to give her to him?' Absence of someone like her in his life was the very reason he had never married. So many women were fickle and fake. Easily overcome by their baser needs. Oh they said they loved you, but the moment someone like him came into their lives, they caved and gave. In the end, he held only disdain for them. Too much of his life, he'd been a loner. With no one for him. No one. If he married and gave his all to any woman, she would be for him. He would have to know that she loved him entirely and could not be swayed by curiosity and persistence.
Sylvia was that kind of woman.
And Shawn had her.
Shawn!
He hated being jealous of his brother. He knew that he was, had always been. Well… not always. There had been a time when he looked up to Shawn. Had admired him. Looked forward to being with him. Had wanted to be just like him. He remembered as a young boy, watching his older brother's walk, laugh, stand and the way the girls all giggled when he cast his eyes on them. He wanted to be his buddy, his pal. He often daydreamed of the two of them being so close, everyone would envy their bond. Yet, that had been him and Derrick. No matter what, the two would never let him in. Even their father preferred them over him. Slowly, the resentment of being left out grew to the extent that he began lashing out and doing things to wreck Shawn's peace. When all he ever wanted was for his brother to notice him, laugh with him, joke with him, invite him along, include him and give him the time of day as he did Derrick. As a result, his life course suddenly became, a drive to out do Shawn. To show everyone – he wasn't so special. So what he could run fast, well Jake worked to run faster in sports. Shawn tried out for track, Jake tried out for track. Shawn played football, Jake played football. Shawn was sought after by all the girls, and Jake… would have them all, each one and did. Shawn wasn't so special… and everything he did… was to show that. To show, that he was just as good as Shawn, maybe even better.
He lived to stand by his brother, one way… or the other.
Then Shawn left.
Jake had cried.
He couldn't explain it. He had cried. Shawn had broken his heart. Because while Shawn was there, he'd always hoped they'd one day come to why… why he did what he did. He wanted Shawn to one day just look at him and ask… why? Then he'd tell him. He'd had it all planned in his head. All the things he would say. The chance to do so had been taken away when he woke to hear that Shawn was gone. He thought surely he would come back. He never did.
Jake remembered then the hell he and Kathy Ann had gone through afterwards. Although Derrick was there for them, it wasn't the same. No one was really fearful of Derrick as they were of Shawn, besides, Derrick was on his way to college and was gone not too long after Shawn left. When word got around the school that Shawn had moved away, taken off – field day had opened up on him and Kathy Ann. All those that resented Shawn, had felt the heat of him defending them, suddenly turned to take it out on them. Exacting payment for the ass kicking Shawn dispensed. He and Kathy Ann were fighting almost everyday after school. While they were not as fierce as Shawn, they soon learned to be. They became fierce bullies because they had to worry about Shanna. Shanna was not a fighter… period. It wasn't long before all those picking on them grew to regret it. Jake had maintained a stand of only defending himself or Shanna when bothered. Not Kathy Ann, she turned into a full blown bully. Daring anyone to say one thing to her, she went from bad to worse. Was kicked out of school twice for it. She never did finish school. Never graduated and wasn't interested in doing so. At least he and Shanna had done that. So much had happened to the family when Shawn left… so much to each of them.
In retrospect, Jake realized back then – that it was his chance to stand in Shawn's place. To show his dad, 'See… I can be like Shawn. I can do all that Shawn did… and I will do it better. I will be here for you… and I – I won't ever leave… not like Shawn left.' It had taken his dad a while to notice him. He grieved over Shawn's leaving… as if he felt responsible for him going. Jake never understood why his dad would grieve when he'd been a perfect father to Shawn. Jake resented Shawn because he left them all when he'd had it so good. What Jake would have given to have his father's attention the way Shawn had it. How many times had he crept around the barn trying to look in on the time his father gave Shawn, sometimes Derrick. He was never certain of what took place in the barn… but he knew that Shawn was given the most time in there. He knew that his father taught Shawn many things, including how to fight. A couple of times he'd snuck up top in the loft and looked down watching them box together. Bart had never boxed with him.
Shawn had been a softy. Jake knew that if his father had taken the time to teach him to box… he wouldn't have been crying – like he saw Shawn do a few times. He'd always wanted to go draw and paint… instead of box with their dad. Jake knew all his dad had to do was ask him one time, and would have gladly stood in Shawn's shoes. Sometimes, he wished he could have… just to give him a break. One time… he saw something in his brother's eyes… something that made him wonder… was he really enjoying the time his father gave him? He acted as if he didn't want to learn to fight. To defend himself. To toughen up and be ready to defend their home and family. Jake would have loved to. The two times he saw, gave him mixed feelings. He didn't understand Shawn. Didn't understand how one moment he could look so soft and unwilling to fight, and then… next moment… he was pinning him down and hurting him. He was often a contradiction. As a young man, Jake didn't get it.
Now… he kind of did.
Over the years, he'd heard enough, learned enough, and saw enough to realize… that it was quite possible… his dad over did it with Shawn. Jake couldn't bring himself to use the term, 'Abuse' – he just couldn't. He loved his father, and if he was a little rough with Shawn… well then, Shawn should have just taken it and been glad. After all, as the years passed, it had made him hard and tough. No one at school… and that meant no one – wanted to ignite the wrath of Shawn. Albeit at odds with each other, Jake knew one thing for certain, no one had better dare bother him or his other brother and sisters. Shawn would be all over them with no mercy. His protection of them was fierce and immediate.
Jake sat up in bed.
He hadn't contacted Doris when he got back because he just didn't want to see her. He'd had a long drive and a long think.
Sylvia made him think.
He wanted her.
But he knew… that he would never have her.
She was Shawn's.
He thought after all that he'd gone through, he was over disrupting his brother's life.
Then he'd come back home. Jake had been so happy that he'd come back. He just wanted bygone's to be bygone's and start anew. But then he'd seen Sylvia. The very kind of woman his mother had wanted all of her sons to bring home. The switch he thought long ago had dissolved flipped and he was back at it again. Driven, because now once more, Shawn would resume his place at the top spot. After all that he'd done to fill that spot… suddenly it seemed to be all washed away. As if nothing.
Successful Shawn. Wealthy Shawn. The thriving artist. Shawn with degrees. Shawn with new cars and motorcycles. He'd left years ago, and returned as a success story. If that were not enough, with a splendidly incredible woman by his side. Black, proud and beautiful; loyal… faithful… trustworthy and real.
"UGGGH!" Jake stood from his bed grabbing his hair in frustration.
"How the hell am I to get on with my life, if I can't move from the shadow of my brother's?!"
He was 39 years old, and in a short span of time, he'd been reverted back in time to the young man trying to be someone he was not. Shawn.
'Leave her alone Jake. Now is the time to move on. He's happy and she loves him. You know she does. Accept it and just get on with your own life and for once, leave Shawn alone. Accept that you and he… will always be what you are… distant brothers. Stop being the one to wreck it all. If her actions that day in her house aren't enough proof, then surely the fact that she's told your mother and sister is. Had she one ounce of desire to possibly entertain you, there's no way she would have told them. She did it to protect Shawn. To keep you two from being at each other. Accept it Jake… just accept it.'
Jake walked into his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. His phone rang. The answering machine clicked on after the second ring.
"Jake! You – pick – up – this – phone – now!" His mother was adamant.
With a hand towel wiping over his face, he walked over and finally did.
"Yeah?" He answered simply.
"I know you got all of my messages. Why didn't you call me back!?" She demanded.
"Because to be honest with you mom… I didn't wanna hear it. I'm a grown man, I don't need you telling me what to do!"
"THEN ACT – LIKE A GROWN MAN!!! Leave – your brother alone! Stop messing in his life! He's home and for once, he has a chance to be happy-…"
"WHAT ABOUT MY HAPPINESS?!? DOES ANY BODY ANY WHERE GIVE A SMALL DAMN ABOUT ME!!? Shawn is a big boy… he doesn't need you running to take care of him all the time mom! What about me?!"
"JAKE YOU'RE JUST SELFISH! Stop what you're doing for once and realize that your life – is what you make it! So far… all you've made it – is a means to destroy your brother! Leave him alone… and leave Sylvia – alone! Understand?!"
Breathing hard with a clamped jaw and flaring nostrils, Jake finally answered with a terse, "Yep!"
* * *
Shawn had been awake for over an hour. It was 5:30 in the morning. So much on his mind. He was scared. Grown man, 42 years old, with freedom to be anywhere and do anything he wanted and yet… he lay afraid. His eyes were moist as he lay in the dark beside Sylvia. It took everything in him the previous night not to make love to her… in fact to dominate her, shake her up and remind her that he was the man – her man – and no man would love her as he did. He wanted to, but he was afraid to. He felt too overwhelmed and desperate. His body had been tensing and relaxing all night. He had a slight headache laying there now. Every now and then, he'd turned over and touched her. Rubbing her back gently, along her hip, touching her waist. Yet… going no further. She had been braced. As if holding her breath. Afraid that he would follow through and go all the way with her. He held back. Of all the people in the world, she was someone he could never bring himself to hurt. Even with his loving. If he touched her, loved her the way he felt the night before, he would have hurt her. There was an incredible force within him that made him want to get as deep inside of her as he could go. She wouldn't be able to take it, take him – with the vigor of his need. His arms wanted to envelope her in a way that would possibly break her ribs, so strong his desire to squeeze her, hold her and not let go.
The previous night, each of them had just said… "Goodnight."
Not their usual, "Goodnight my husband" – Goodnight my wife."
Shawn hadn't said the rest because he was afraid to. He so prayed that she was in love with him. As for Jake, he hadn't pushed it anymore with her about him, because he just couldn't. He didn't know what he would do if he found that she preferred his brother over him. It would crush him. Ruin him. This one… if she turned from him for Jake, would do him in. It would be the very thing to rip his guts out. He swallowed down the moisture in his mouth, afraid that he might start crying. 'You're a grown ga'damn man! What the fuck you crying for? You punk! Take it like a man… come what may… you take it like a man!'
He lifted his hand above his face and pinched the bridge of his nose, and then used his index finger and thumb to press into his eyes, moisture seeped out from his closed lids. He swallowed again. 'If I could only read her mind. See into her heart. Know for sure that she loved me as she says. To see for sure that she really does mean all that she says. Its not fair for a man not to know.' He prayed to God above. 'Faith.'
That's what he needed. To have faith in her.
He knew what she was. He understood the formula and science of Sylvia Martin. She was one of the few genuine articles. She was steadfast, moral and strong in what she felt and believed. He knew that. One of the many many reasons he loved her so much. Everything she was, was what Jesse had always claimed to be…, "One worth having." How many times had Jesse said to him, "You get you one like that.. and you got something worth havin' boy! That ain't no lie! A fiercely strong black woman with morals, pride and care for herself?! Man o man… you get one like that, yo' shit will always be right! Ain't a motha'fucka' no where… will get in on yo' shit! A woman like that – gone be by'yah ass through all thick'n'thin! That's what I want! No matter how you fuck up… she right there! Pickin' up the goddamn pieces!" He laughed then, Jesse did, grinning as he always ended up doing when he was getting too serious in reflection. "'Cause know this… motha'fucka's like you and I – we'ah fuck up simple shit! god-dammit we do porn, but I swear, if either of us fell in a barrel full of titties we'd come up suckin' our thumb!" They'd both laughed at that one, agreeing.
Shawn wiped at his eyes and turned his head to look at Sylvia's back. She often slept facing away from him on her side. Even in that, he wondered was it a habit for her to sleep as she did? Was she most comfortable that way? Or was it him?
His heart was pounding in his chest, he felt short of breath, he felt prickles rush over his entire body. 'Do you really want to marry me? I should offer you out if you don't. Right here, right now… I should just accept it if you don't and be a man about it.' He swallowed and his heart beat even faster. He felt perspiration suddenly rise to the surface of his skin, covering his face.
He gulped.
"Syl – Sylvia…" He called her name hesitantly, softly in the early morning. The sun wasn't up full yet, there was still a dark bluish tint to the sky outside, showing through the opening slit in the curtains.
She heard him, she lay there tempted to pretend that she was still sleeping. She had not been sleeping for the last fifteen minutes. The day was heavy on her mind. The man behind her was heavy on her mind. If it weren't for Angela… she just might have begged off for just a little more time. It wasn't that she didn't love Shawn. She knew that she was in love with him. But there were things about her that she knew was not right. Like her fear of him. Fear of his temper. The way his aggression made her shake inside. Over and over again she'd pounded it into her head… he is not Armundo. He would not change upon their marriage. He would never hit her. She knew this. But the size of him compared to her. His strength and aggression… was a bit frightening. To other women, he was adorable and desirable. Filled with all the animal magnetism sure to light ones fire if that was the turn on for them. To Sylvia, the first thing a man like him reminded her, was that he could probably break her jaw with just one punch.
Anything she could do to keep his aggression on a low key… she would do. That was the problem. She knew that she shouldn't. She knew that nothing was more important than being true to what her needs were. One of her needs, to be completely open and honest at all times. Because she was being otherwise, worked to bring her down. She had always lived her life in a way that left her without reproach or shame. Even when she'd endured what she had with Armundo, she did so feeling that as long as she did what was right, she could always hold her head up high. If either of them were accused of being wrong, it would not be her, it would be him. As history could testify… it always had been.
Now… here she was with Shawn and she was guilty of a wrong. Yet, that wrong was locked tight and lodged in her chest and would not move up to her mouth to come out and get it laid before him to know. Because she was ill-equipped to cope with his displays of anger. It paralyzed her from within. While she had never been a fighter, she had always defended herself in every area there was a need to. But it hurt her… to hurt someone else. She couldn't see how people could just lash out and hurt another person, whether that person warranted it or not. It made her stomach cramp to cause injury… excluding only the case of defending her children. For them, she would fight to the death… and yes, inflict great harm… they were the exception to the rule.
She never expressed it to any one, but inside, she harbored a bit of fear for larger men. All the guys she ever dated were her height, a few shorter, and then Armundo… who had been just barely two inches taller than her. She wondered if it had to do with her mother and the relationships she'd had after their father departed. Her mother had gotten involved with a few men who were much taller, and very aggressive. Trying to control Lydia – trying to tame Lydia – trying to keep Lydia. Her mother had fought them all, tooth and nail. How many times had she and her brother's stood fighting to defend their mother against men of height, weight and stature. Her mother had not been much taller than Sylvia, but she could pack a wallop and then some. Lydia could defend herself and often hurt a few pretty good, enough to send them on their way to never bother her again. The experience had however, always shaken Sylvia up. Left her crying and afraid for her mother, that one of them would seriously harm her somehow.
As it turned out after so many years, Sylvia found that she seldom ever became emotionally attracted to men that were any where close to being six foot. They were usually her height or slightly more, no more than a couple of inches. She believed she could better defend herself against them if they weren't that much bigger. She had been too late in realizing that a man's height meant nothing, he was still a man, and physically much more stronger than she was. Armundo taught her that was a no win. Height had nothing to do with it, but what the man was – had everything to do with it.
Then she'd made the other error of believing that only Spanish and black men were aggressive. Hearing some bull crap about white men treating you so much better. That they were much more gentler and easy to deal with. So naturally, while she had been put out by her daughter getting pregnant, she had been somewhat secretly relieved that he was white and so never really feared for her. Stupid and naive, she honestly thought when she took on Shawn, that he would fit into what she imagined a white male would be like. He was nothing like she'd imagined. He fit into none of the so called stereotypes about white males. He was indeed contradictory to them all. Yet, this white male… loved her like she'd never been loved before. His passion was surprising and tangible. His desires were strictly family oriented. His decisiveness was absolute. His talents were undeniable. His sense of humor was contagious. His devotion to her was without a doubt concrete. His need to satisfy her in bed was spot on. His touch – the look in his eyes – melted her the moment he used them to do so. But he was also a man who held within him certain angers … that also made her feel weak. It drained her in an instant because it was so traumatizing to see. Not once had it been directed at her and still… she felt it in the pit of her stomach.
Today she would marry this man. Knowing that what she kept from him, could very well ignite his anger towards her for the first time. She grew dizzy just thinking about it.
"Sylvia…? You awake?" He asked again.
She turned to her back. "Yeah… I'm awake." She whispered back.
He moved over to lean up on his hand to look down at her in the dawning of their day.
"Look at me." He asked softly.
She did… staring straight up at him.
"Do you… want me Sylvia… me… do you?"
What was it in his voice, in the way he asked that, that once again made her lose all thought? Fear… he was afraid. Tears came into her eyes because, looking at him, what did such a man as this have to be afraid of? Her? No… just as she could not extend her hand to hurt someone she didn't know… there was nothing in her powerful enough to make her hurt this man, that she did know. Know… and love… with all her heart… and she knew… and she prayed that heaven help her… because with him, should could not help herself.
"I want you… with every fibre… of my being… I want you. Believe me… hear every word that I say… and know that its true. I'm in love with you… I'm in love with you."
Shawn went down and grabbed her, hugging her tightly to his chest as he felt her arms go around him. Her fingers combing through his hair as he squeezed her, his eyes tightly shut as he held onto her. They didn't kiss. There was no erection. The hug was not sexual. They were both impacted by fear and need and felt compelled to hold onto each other and hold on tight. They hung on. Playing through each mind, all the things in their lives that made this moment, that day… one that needed to take place. The hug said… I am for you, you are for me … do not forsake me. They were both scared.
This day would be and as was promised just the day before… no matter what… they were determined that there would be no divorce for them.
Chapter 71
That morning, every one of the McPherson households were abuzz with activity for the wedding. Meribel had been up first thing getting her children in order. Orders of who was taking which car, which of the boys were riding with whom was being discussed in disorderly fashion as she rushed around the house making sure everyone was wearing what she took out for them to wear. Derrick Jr. was there as well to attend his uncles wedding, also tops on his list, he was going to finally meet his father's other two children. His half sister Crystal and her brother – his half brother Armundo Jr. he was really excited about that; even better, a friend from school came down with his girlfriend so he was expecting to have a good time.
Sasha was all excitement because Angela was coming back with them that night from the reception and staying for the weekend. Shanna and her grandma Gert would be getting her Sunday night to be back for school Monday. That way her uncle Shawn and his new wife Sylvia would at least have a week together in Michigan.
Marcus and Luis would be riding down with Derrick in his car, which had Shawn2 (they called him) pissed off as they were all hearing about it.
"Dad its not fair! Why can't I go with them!? I don't wanna ride with the babies!" He complained.
"Excuse me! I am not a baby!" Sasha defended. "I am ten years old, soon to be eleven!" She announced, her head shifting side to side, filled with attitude. Their dad was in the mirror shaving thinking, 'More like ten going on thirty.'
"Was I talking to you?! Are you my dad? Did you hear me address you as dad?! Go away little girl!" Shawn2 ordered, looking every bit like his uncle. Derrick glanced out the side of his eyes at him and couldn't control the shiver from looking at him. If his brother hadn't been thousands of miles away, he'd have serious doubts about his sons parentage. Yet, it was fact, he was his son through and through. He wondered why Shawn wanted more kids when he could easily have this one… he was just like him, he could easily pass him off with no problems.
"Well? Can I go with them?!" Shawn2 asked.
"No… so stop asking!" Derrick answered, shifting his cheek as he shaved.
"MAN! No fair! I don't wanna go then! I'm staying here!" He stomped off for his room just as Meribel rounded the top of the stairs, "You better not be slammin' no doors Shawn2! Get your butt in gear – because you are going! Miho I'm tellin' you now – I got too much to do to be pissin' wit' you!"
"Why can't I go with them!?" He argued from his bedroom door.
"What did your father say?! Hmm, what did he say?! You want me to say it in Spanish?! Would you understand then?! Fine – I'll say it in Spanish – No! Now get your ass ready!"
"Meri don't cuss at your son." Derrick said from the open bathroom door as he trimmed his nose hairs.
"Well you better get him then, because I swear, I will strangle his ass! BOY – YOU BETTER BE GETTING READY!!" She yelled picking up clothes strewn down the upstairs hallway. "Who dropped all these clothes down this hallway?! I just did laundry! You guys think I wash yo' clothes cause I got nothing better to do!?"
"I dropped'em mama… I was putting them away." Joseph, their five year old came from his room with the clothes basket to say.
Meribel whimpered, "Miho, you dropped them all down the hallway, they have to be folded first." She said heading for his room, folding them as she walked by Shawn2's room. "You gettin' dressed in there?!" She asked him through the door.
"I'm staying here!" He answered.
She looked at Derrick across the hall, over the stairs banister from Joseph's room. "That one is yours! If I deal with him, its gonna be to knock him out, dress him and drag his butt to the wedding."
"Shawn2! If you're not getting dressed, that's it – you're gonna get it!" Derrick yelled.
Meribel put her hands on her hips and glared across the open floor at her husband. "What is he gonna get?"
Derrick grinned and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know… it sounded good though."
"Oh my god! You are a high school coach! Can't you do better than that with your own kids! Make him get dressed!"
Derrick stood staring at his wife. He pretty much left the kids to her to raise because he just didn't have it in him to discipline them. He would put his foot down with them, and reason with them, and with Derrick, Marcus and Luis… that had worked just fine. He could talk to them and make them ashamed of themselves. This wasn't the case with Shawn2 – the boy was a nutter.
"Well?!" Meribel asked. "You know what… I might as well be raising them all by myself! Why do I always have to be the disciplinarian?! And then, when I do dispense discipline… you tell me no, don't spank the kids!"
"Ugggh! Shawn2! That's it! You're gonna make me lose my temper with you. You better be getting dressed in there… do you hear me?" Derrick asked at his bedroom door.
"Can I go with DJ, Marcus and Luis?"
"You're going to ride with your mother and I." He stated firmly.
"That's not fair! I always get left out of everything! They never want to take me with them! It's not right!" He complained from the other side of the door.
Derrick stood leaning against the door frame listening to his son, and hearing him took him back. Back to his own youth, back to the days when Jake felt the same way. He stood a moment more, turned and walked downstairs where his sons were gathered with Derrick and his friends.
"Hey… you guys are taking Shawn2 with you."
"WHAT?! Why?" Marcus blasted.
"Because I said so! And I mean it… no more leaving him out! I want you all to start including him!"
"Ah dad come on… he's a little obnoxious jerk!" Luis added, backing his brother.
"So were you sometimes!" DJ laughed, nudging his brother. "No problem dad… he can ride with us."
"Thank you son."
"YES!" They heard him cheer from the stairs.
"AND YOU BETTER ACT LIKE YOU GOT SOME SENSE! OR IT'LL BE THE LAST TIME!!!" Marcus took upon himself to shout at him.
"I WILL!!!" Shawn2 shouted back happily.
* * *
In Chicago…
"I'm gone toot the horn one goddamn time! Show yo' ass at the dough – or you will be left behin'! You know me… don't pull no shit today! Excuses not allowed, you'll just be hearin' about it when I get back. 'Cause you know I'll drive off and leave yo' ass in a blink!" Sheila went down her list, lining them up for the pick up.
"Look! You just have yo' ass here! Don't start no shit Sheila – I done contributed my gas fare… you just blow and wait goddammit! I get out there when I get out there." Edwina fussed back.
"Yeah yo' ass gone get left, I can tell now. I ain't gone be late, like I said… I'll be blowing, you bes' be showing – bye!" Sheila hung up and dialled the next number.
"Hello?" Ellen answered.
"You ready?!"
"I'm gettin' ready!"
"You got yo' gas money? I done collected and yours ain't in the pot… you wanna ride you got to pay!"
"Hell yeah I got my money… you just be here – don't leave me… cause I know you… yo' ass get in a hurry-…"
"Damn skippy! Toot toot… that's all you get – bye!" Sheila dialled the next number.
"Yes Sheila – dai-am! I'm ready! Bring your ass on! Come get me first! 'Cause I'm ready!" Vivian started right off.
"That's what I like to hear!"
"Hold on girlfriend! When we coming back? I told you, I traded with somebody to get this day off… don't get your ass there, start drinking and can't drive back!"
"Gurl – just call yo'ass in!"
"No! Hell no! I don't call in! My ass be at work… first thing – on time – I don't play! Hell with that! You said you was driving right back!"
"Gurl have you checked the goddamn distance!? We talkin' bout a three to four hour drive! Late as hell at that!"
"Ah shit… here we go! Changing! Can't depend on a negro no where to stick to the plan! I have to get my ass back here tonight! I'm going to work in the morning! Now you need to tell me if you bringing me back or not!?"
"Yeah I'mo bring yo' black ass back! Damn! You gone get back! Now quit wasting my time… I could be on my way. You know we got to include lost time! So be yo' young ass ready!"
Vivian listened as Sheila clicked the phone off on her.
She took a deep breath and went to her closet wearing her white lace, Victoria Secret panty and bra. That's all she wore, she indulged herself that way… because as the L'Oreal commercial stated… she was worth it. At twenty eight years old, her life had all been laid out. She'd followed the formula to the letter, despite all that her family said about her. Despite her reputation for being the black sheep of the family. Everyone had expected her to fail and make nothing of herself, she'd risen above and made more money than them all. She lived in an expensive townhouse with the income to do so. Spending it on supporting herself and her style of life. All was just as she wanted it save for one thing.
No man!
She'd wasted five years of her life on a worthless piece of crap Japanese doctor that she let lead her down a road of promises never fulfilled. He was supposed to leave his wife for her. Lying little jap didn't. She was pissed every time she thought of him. Yeah he'd given her plenty, whatever she wanted to keep her, but she wasn't going out like that. Forever as some rich man's mistress… screw that! She was knocking at the door of thirty… and it was time to get busy and settle with a more stable relationship. She needed an unattached man. A man that was ready to marry. A man who wanted maybe a kid or two. She'd been crazy most of her young life. Wreaking hell on her sisters lives. Now… she'd settled down a bit… well, a bit. She didn't mess with them as much anymore. She no longer suffered the effects of being Milton and Betty Cooke's blackest child of four girls. She'd given all three of her sisters absolute hell growing up. Especially her second sister Ella. Because Ella was light skinned with, "good hair" she took after their mother who was light skinned. Lacy was the oldest, a nice brown, and Candace the third daughter was a bit between Lacy and Ella in complexion… and then she'd come along; black as black could be, like her father. Thick, jet black, not so good hair… however, she had perfect afro hair… and she wore it proudly; now that is. When she was growing up, it had been one hell of an adjustment to stand in the shadow of her sisters. Hearing everyone refer to them as the pretty Cooke girls and the black one, as if she hadn't been apart of the Cooke sisters. Oh the wicked little games she played with them. If there was something she could do to ruin anything they most enjoyed, bets down… she'd mess it up for them. Then took her butt whooping – because she knew if it was found out, she was definitely getting one. Her mother had always shook her head saying to her father, "That one there ain't gone do nothing with herself. When its all said and done, we'll be supporting her."
Ha! Not!
Vivian had heard… and she proved them all wrong. Fact was, her parents were always having to help Candace, and had at times helped, Lacy and Ella too! Not once, had they to give her anything and she hadn't needed anything from them. Even more so, she had loaned two of her sisters money and helped bail them out of money cramps. As for her father, he never really put her down, but he never encouraged her much either. As if he were afraid to back her because she was black like him. So he'd stood silently by and let everyone pick on her and prejudge her. Well, she'd shown them all! Because not only had she grown up and gotten good grades in school, she had a good job making nice money. If that weren't sweet enough, when puberty hit… she'd been transformed into an ebony goddess. A body and figure that made everyone whom she passed stop and take a look. She had small shoulders, just the right size breasts, and the smallest waist of all she knew, and then… her hips rounded out and her ass swelled behind just so. A – to die for perfectly shaped ass – an exact upside down heart shape, one to be proud of… and she was. The Lord still wasn't done because he blessed her with slender shapely legs and sensually curved calves. Vivian smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror, turning to look at the rear view. Her sisters hated that she got it all. All they could get her on was that she was so black.
That too, Vivian had grown into accepting.
No thanks to black men. Few had paid her any mind. Oh she got the whistles, the wolf calls, all the lame lines they used trying to get her attention, but it had all been just a game they played. Because when it came to being serious, they turned away from her for a light skinned girl with long hair.
Well she wasn't light skinned, and she didn't have long hair. She was coal black with an afro and she learned to strut her stuff and be what she was. She didn't invest in weave, no skin lighteners, no blue or green contact lenses. She was all natural black… take her or leave her.
When she walked down the street, it was usually the attention of Spanish men that went nuts over her. She didn't want no Spanish nothing… they were crazy as hell! After all, look what Sylvia went through with that half Puerto Rican. Granted, Armundo's father had been black, his mother had been the Puerto Rican, but still – no thanks, especially seeing what Ellen was going through with that whacked out Mexican she was dating.
Even though Vivian stood five foot eight, she preferred Asian men. Most all were shorter than her, but she didn't care… she always went for the doctors or professional men anyway, which coming full circle, had only led her to wasting all those years with that lying little Japanese whom turned out to be married and unwilling to divorce for her. Never again. That left her where she was now, willing to take the next step in the interracial pool. What the heck… she was gonna give some white man a go. He had to meet a certain criteria of course, and this time – she would try her best not to get in bed with him. She would try. She would try really hard… but it had been a while now. She'd been without a man for six, long, lonely months. It had taken her a time to get over 'Laek Chan' – but she'd finally moved on and finalized the – No! – with him. He still called her now and then trying to get her to take him back. Forget that… that whole ordeal was history.
She was all packed and ready now. She always carried a change of clothes just in case. Wearing the dress she had on, another one should something happen – a spill – a rip whatever, and a little Capri outfit.
She took one more look at herself – and smiled.
The red dress – if this didn't capture someone's attention… nothing would.
Walking through her clean home, she checked that everything was as it should be. One day, she would buy herself a car, she hadn't so far because having one just wasn't worth giving up her precious money every month when there were buses and trains running. Forget that. Car notes and insurance! Nope. Her money went on her home, furniture – antiques from the Victorian era was her style, clothes, jewellery, perfume and make up… and anything else she could use to spoil herself – was where her money went. Maybe if she played her cards right, got the right man – he would buy her a car… as Sheila tooted the horn, she figured that into the plan.
Locking up, she was out the door.
"Let's go!" Sheila called seeing her in the front door.
"I'm coming! Hold your ass still for a minute… damn!" She called locking up removing the key and dropping it into her bag.
In L. A….
"It's Friday! What do you have going on today?" Terra asked Deidre, calling her before she was out the door for work.
Deidre laughed holding the phone to her ear, packing her briefcase, turning off her computer. "I'm going to work until twelve. Have lunch at your restaurant as I always do… and then back to work." She answered shifting a box out of her way, she was determined to get all of her things completely unpacked this weekend, she couldn't believe she still had boxes sitting and waiting to be opened for the contents to be put away.
"Then after work?!" Terra asked excitedly.
Again Deidre laughed, "Oooh, I'll be attending the Jared Bailey Foundation Awards for Culinary Arts – featuring award winning restaurants and chef's – you see I have a good friend who is in fact tonight… a candidate for such an prestigious award. I, proud friend that I am… intend to be there and watch as she accepts it!"
"YES! Oh… you think I will… that I'll be called? Oh I do hope so! I'm telling you now Deidre, I am a nervous wreck! All of my family will be there! You – have to be there!"
"And I will be there…promise."
"You bringing anyone?" Terra asked.
"Just myself."
"Emmm, so that… what's his name again?…"
"Jeremiah Franklin."
"Yes… ummm, busy tonight is he?"
"I'm coming alone Terra… all by myself!"
"I thought you enjoyed yourself with him… you sounded as if you did."
"I did… but it was just dinner… nothing more."
"Emmm, well… if you say so. Anyway… you have your directions on how to get there?"
"Yes… I have my directions… I'm all set. I'll get off work, I'll come home and change… then I'll set off for the ceremony."
"OH! This is so exciting… I can't wait!" Terra explained.
Deidre smiled, "Neither can I… see you at lunch."
* * *
"Did you get that?"
"I got it."
"Good make sure every one of them is in place. Depending on which she calls, they must be ready to respond."
"Trust me… every thing is in place. Every detail has been seen to."
"Okay… whatever you do… don't blow it. She has to die tonight."
"Oh… she will… she will."
* * *
Back In Wisconsin…
Victor had arrived on time for the boys as he said he would.
Crystal did her best to be disconnected from him emotionally. She ached from wanting him to look her in the face just briefly to show some type of desire to be back with her again, but his expression was carefully guarded.
"Enjoy your mother's wedding. I'll be keeping the boys for the entire weekend, so… have a good time."
"You know if you wanted to, you could come as well." She said with a heavy heart.
"Thanks but, can't … I've already made plans… I'm just gonna spend time with my boys."
"Okay… its up to you."
Victor looked around the house, "Not bad… he's got a nice house… it was really nice of him to let you all move in here."
"Yes, it was. He's a good man… my moms lucky, we're lucky to have him. Who knows… had he been in our lives earlier… maybe, just maybe… things would have been different – I don't know… no matter… water under the bridge hm?" She imparted softly.
Victor's eyes went to her then after deliberately keeping his eyes everywhere but on her. He missed her. Their time together hadn't been all bad. There were many good times. Life had just gotten too complicated too quickly for him he supposed. They both needed this breather, who knows… maybe… if things changed with her, maybe… they could be together again. This of course was not what his parents wanted. They felt he should divorce immediately and get on with his life. He still couldn't believe when he went out to dinner with them, that they'd set him up with their friends daughter, Jeanine. Jeanine was no stranger to him. They knew each other from grade school. She was what his parents wanted for him. A nice, clean, simple and yet pretty girl. Brunette, slender, educated and serenely gentle. The question was, how did he go from his fiery Crystal, to a docile peace keeper, never raising her voice… like his mother. He figured he must be mentally malfunctioning… after all… weren't young guys suppose to be attracted to women like their mothers?
"Well I better get going." He finally snapped out of it to say. "Come on Darren." He called taking his son from Crystal's arms. "You got your bag Isaac?" He asked.
"Yep! I'm ready to go! See you later mama! Gimme kiss… I love you."
Crystal bent down and hugged and kissed her son with her heart lodged in her throat. "You be good … okay?"
"I will mama… kiss Darren now…" He directed her.
She went to Darren, who was in his father's arms, and took his little head in her hands and kissed him, "Have fun my baby." She said to him. He held his arms out to her, pumping his little fingers for her to take him or come with them. "Mama's gonna stay here this time… you go with daddy and have fun." She said softly, then looked up into her husband's eyes. She found hope there… she saw the desire in his eyes, no matter how small a hope… she still affected him. "Be careful with the boys."
"I will…" He looked like he wanted to say something else… but he kept it to himself, turned and made his way to the front door, carrying Darren, the gym bag filled with clothes for them, medicine, diapers and Darren's sippy cup.
Crystal watched him load them into his mother's car that she loaned him to pick them up. Her stomach was in knots but she waved and let him drive away, ignoring her need to be with him. Turning back inside, it was time to get ready for the wedding. She and Mundo would be meeting them at the church. Her mom, Shawn and Angela were already gone to his parents house to get ready, they'd left in the SUV. Shawn gave her and Mundo the keys to the truck so that Mundo could bring all of his equipment and set up at the reception hall. She turned and started getting ready… eager for the day despite watching her husband drive away with her sons. Today… she would meet her other brother… Derrick Jr. another one of her father's sons. She was looking forward to it.
Chapter 72
It was a mad house!
Bart had to escape it to his private study room. There is where no one was allowed, it was his own little hiding place. His nook, besides his garage. Kids were running up and down the stairs, two fights had broken out. Three arguments and the laughter and chatter of too many women at once. Kathy Ann, Shanna, Sylvia, Meribel and his wife. Then there were young women, Kathy Ann's Jenny Lee, Derrick's Sasha and Shawn's Angela… they kept up a fine racket. Not to mention all the young men. Jake's Benjamin, Kevin & Paul. Derrick's DJ, Marcus, Luis, Shawn2 and Joseph. His son's, Derrick and Shawn – Jake had yet to show up. The other two were loud enough with laughter, kidding around, either stirring up the women, or stirring up the young men, in addition to teasing the young women.
Bart stood sighing, dressed in his suit as he listened to the racket outside of his door.
He stood with his left hand resting against his fire place, glancing at the wall that held all of his son's trophy's, plaques, ribbons, medallions and awards. The entire wall was filled. Fifteen foot across, from the floor up, trophy's galore. He walked along it looking at them all. Pictures decorated the wall, all three sons in various shots from school sports. Football and basketball. Among them, trophy's from DJ… yes, that one too was his. He'd learned long ago to accept. He'd learned long ago, that a child's veins didn't have to flow with his blood to be considered his own.
He looked over all the trophy's from Shawn… so far, those from him out numbered the others. Even though DJ and Marcus still had them rolling in.
Bart stood taking a very deep breath… he was proud of them, one and all. Especially his Shawn. Regret often gripped him concerning him. Considering all that he'd put him through, he'd come out on-top. He was a strong, independent man. A good head on his shoulders. He'd left home all those years ago and made a right success of his life. Bart rubbed his chest because he knew, that his son stayed away all that time because of him. He'd been a bit crazy back in the days of Shawn. Fighting too many battles in his heart, in his head. There had been no one to release it on… and so he'd transferred so much of his anger to his son. At the time, he'd thought him not his son… but the product of a Negro – Edwin Piercey.
Guilt ate at Bart like a living wild thing.
Knowing, that he might as well be guilty of pulling the trigger and killing the boy.
He'd been getting all kinds of anonymous letters, phone calls and notes telling him about Gert and her activities. For the longest he had prayed about it. No matter what prayer he petitioned of the Lord, none gave him the strength to end it with her. She was a wild and vivacious exotic fantasy… and he would do anything to keep her as his. For the longest he tried to ignore the talk. Ignore the rumors. Yet, each visit back home, she grew more and more distant from him. He knew he had to do something. Receiving another anonymous note, he'd taken leave and snuck home and watched her for himself. Saw her with him, with his own eyes. Jealousy shot through him like a hot poker but he was too much of a coward to confront her right there with Edwin Piercey present. He could not bare it if she chose him, the Negro over him. Anguished over it, he waited until she'd gone home. He'd followed Edwin for some distance, he'd had a gun on him, his intent to shoot him. Yet, seeing the young black man stop and look behind him, fear etched on his features, froze his hand. He was the son of a Baptist preacher, how could he possibly commit such a sin and kill this man? He couldn't go through with it, and thus, changed his mind, deciding to just threaten him, warn him to stay away from Gert, when suddenly lights had lit up on him.
To this day… Bart lived with the screams of Edwin Piercey filling his head. The horrific things they did to him. All he had to do was step forward, fire his weapon and make them stop. He hadn't, he'd finally turned his back unable to bare another moment of the horrendous torture. He'd driven all night back to the fort. Sick to his stomach, ill at what he'd seen, at what he'd let happen. The next morning, they left for Vietnam. Later… he'd gotten a letter from Gert saying that she was with child. He'd battled so many feelings, but in the end, he felt it was a penitence from the Lord. For his sin of letting that man die the way he had, he thought his punishment was to raise his child. To give him his name. To make a man of him. To give him a steel solid back bone. After seeing the effects of the war first hand, the ugliness of man, the extent to which man could destroy another. He came back determined that no one would do to his family what'd he'd seen in Vietnam. If then he must raise Edwin Piercey's son… then the price he would exact from him, was to guard his family with every fibre of his being. As the military stripped a boy of his innocence and built in its place a man… so he had with Shawn.
Shawn was seventeen years old when Bart realized his error. Up until then, Shawn was Edwin Piercey's son. If it hadn't been for the accident that would have killed Shawn, Bart still might not know that Shawn was his. They'd been using a bulldozer to widen a self made pond on the property that had been filled with catfish. Shawn had been driving the mechanical digger, going to the edge, dropping the bucket and dragging out the dirt and sand to widen it, he went in too far and ended up flipping forward into the pond, trapped in the bulldozer. Bart and Derrick had been there, both had leaped into the pond and desperately worked to free him and bring him back to the top. Pulling him out of the water, they had practically ripped his shirt from him. Bart had pumped his son's chest, breathed into his mouth and pumped it some more as Derrick ran to get the truck, pulling it up to where Shawn lay as Bart fought to save his life. With Shawn's arms stretched over his head, not breathing – is when Bart spotted the birth mark for the first time. The sight of it had stunned him so, that it froze him for a moment. Right then like a blinding punch to his face, he realized that the young man laying close to dying, was his son. The very blood that flowed through his veins, was in fact his own. Bart had fought like mad to save him. Scared that just as he discovered the truth, the Lord was once again punishing him for the things he'd done to him. Revealing that this boy he'd been blessed with was his, but now… he would be taken away.
When Shawn started coughing, started coming around… Bart had battled with sobbing. He'd never cried before his sons, but that time, he'd almost given in. They'd brought Shawn home, alive… but that night, in bed… while Gert lay sleeping, Bart lay with his arm over his eyes, sobbing softly… as all of his sins came down on him. Now… any child that came through his door as a part of this family… was his, no matter what color their skin, or the blood that flowed through their veins.
A knocked sounded at the door. Bart turned and looked as it cracked open and Shawn's head poked in.
"Come in son." Bart invited him.
Shawn smiled and walked in wearing his suit all save his jacket. It was white and he wouldn't be putting it on until the last moment at the church, where all the men were ready to head to. He closed the door behind him, respecting his father's private room.
"We're about ready to head for the church dad."
Bart stood staring at his son. His son.
Shawn stood staring at his father. He was starting to show his age. Bushy brows, grey head of hair, craggy features and rheumy eyes, for some reason, now more so than ever. He glanced at his father's throat and caught the swallow, that repeated as if he were struggling with something. Finally he said. "You… you happy boy? She… this one… she make you happy? You sure?"
"As sure as sure can be. I love her, perhaps… as deeply as you love my mother."
"Aye… and it is true, I have loved that woman… sometimes… maybe when I shouldn't have." Bart slipped off in thought, then looked at Shawn again.
"You… you're a good son… my good son. You – make me proud… and I know… I ain't a man… much for words… but… there were times, when I should have used more of them, instead – of … -( he lifted his fist slightly – his way of saying what he couldn't to Shawn) – instead of… well… you know."
Shawn felt his chest ache, his mouth filled with moisture as his eyes pooled.
Bart walked slowly up to him… swallowing as his own eyes filled up, "You… I…" Bart swallowed and tried again, "I just… well… I ummm, so – sorry … you know… if… I ever – hurt you. I was crazy in – in my head son… back then… know what I'm saying?"
Shawn nodded unable to look up at his father, ashamed of the tears rolling from his eyes, because he wasn't suppose to cry.
Bart shocked him by reaching up and hesitantly wiping at one of his cheeks, "That's all right son… I have… my moments… when… well… I cry too."
Shawn reached up and swiped them away quickly, looking at his father, he blew to calm his racing heart. They stood staring at each other, both wanting to hug but neither could make the move. It would be awkward at best, so they stared into each other's eyes… knowing that what stood between them… was good enough.
"I guess we best get going hm?" Bart offered, feeling better for saying what he had.
"Yeah… I'm getting married today."
"For good this time." Bart stated what he expected.
"Most certainly, for good this time."
* * *
"I'm so jealous of you! I didn't get to wear the gown!" Meribel complained good naturedly.
"Only because you couldn't fit it sweetheart." Gert said as they added the finishing touches to Sylvia's hair, done into a stunning bun with an extension that made it fuller and a broach was added, with a small veil.
"I know… my boobs and ass was too big!" Meribel admitted grinning.
Shanna gave her a look to say that hadn't changed much.
"I saw that look cringa! That's okay, long as my husband ain't complaining!" She asserted.
Shanna laughed, "What did I say?"
"It was that look you gave me! I seen you glance at my ass! My honey says J-Lo's ass got nothing on mine!"
Shanna was laughing as Kathy Ann stood combing through her hair again, unsatisfied with the way it looked. She was wearing a blue pants suit instead of a dress, Kathy Ann didn't do dresses.
"In that case you better keep it then. Stand up now Sylvia so I can get a look at you." Gert stated listening to Shanna and Meribel tease each other as they were accustomed to doing.
"Did you… you know… talk to Jake?" Sylvia asked a bit worried.
"I finally got a hold of him this morning, don't you worry… everything will be just fine. So take a deep breath and get ready to marry my son."
"What's going on with Jake?" Meribel asked.
Kathy Ann looked at them through the mirror, she knew all about it. Had tried to talk Jake out of it herself. It didn't matter what they had against Shawn, what he was trying to do would hurt Sylvia… she didn't deserve to be dragged in the middle of their baggage.
"He's been coming on to Sylvia." Shanna told her.
Meribel looked up at Sylvia.
"Does Shawn know?"
Sylvia shook her head.
"And we don't want him to know. There's no need, I've taken care of it." Gert explained.
Sylvia noted the look on Meribel's face – it made her heart beat heavy in her chest. Meribel couldn't just sit there and say nothing, this kind of thing always scared her. "I gotta say something here… mama Gert, I love you… but… she should tell Shawn."
"Are you kidding me… no… that's the last thing she should do. Shawn will overreact, you know the history between those two."
"I know but… what if something happens and he finds out?"
"How's he gonna find out?" Gert asked.
"Well… what if Jakes tells him!?"
All the women fell silent, then looked at Sylvia. She sat down feeling nauseated.
"I can't go through with this, I can't do it."
"What are you saying?!" Gert asked.
"I have to tell him, I have to face whatever will happen."
"Look… lets just get through the wedding. Let's enjoy the reception, and afterwards… when the two of you are away on your little honeymoon, and Jake is no where in reach, you tell him then… but not now… just wait one more day. Tomorrow, you two will be together… and alone… tell him then… but its too late now honey… the men are at the church and waiting, and I'm certain its filling up as we speak. One more day… what is one day?"
Sylvia took a deep breath… yes, tomorrow when they were together, alone as husband and wife… she would tell him everything then. When as Gert said, Jake was no where for him to go for… then, alone, she would deal with Shawn… she would have to, because she could not live with it another day.
Now that the men were gone, the women could organize the vehicles and get the remaining kids left to travel with them into the cars and vans. Butterfly jitters would not leave Sylvia be, she kept drilling it into her head, to just get through this day and then she could lift the incredible burden from her and be free of the secret.
When they arrived at the church, she was stunned at how full the parking lot was. She was taken in through the side entrance and into the room where she would wait until the music began to play. Shawn's father waited there for her, he would be giving her away. A rush of emotions swept over her because there was no family of hers there for her. She had a father that was not there. Had known how to contact him, but did not… because she felt he would only make excuses not to come, or – just tell her no… she hadn't wanted to deal with it, so she just didn't tell him, and didn't ask.
Gert smiled at her, winked at her husband and then closed the door behind her. Leaving the two alone in the room. Taking a deep breath, Sylvia turned and looked up at him.
"You scared?" He asked.
She gave a vigorous nod.
"You love my boy?"
"Oh yes!"
"Then don't worry about the rest… one day at a time. Let's get these vows said, and the I do's in… and go from there. Okay?"
"Okay."
* * *
"Girl… hell naaaw, I cannot believe her goddamn luck! Would you look at his fine ass standing there! Lord have mercy Jesus." Sheila exclaimed and then nodded with a smile as a small middle aged woman approached them sitting in the back of the church.
"Why you all sittin' back here in the back of the church? Them days is over… you all should be up front – oh and hi… I'm the grooms mother, Gert and your name is?" She asked Sheila.
Who was recovering from almost having said, "Dai – am!" in the Lords house, she couldn't believe she came out with that about them sitting in the back of the church. All four of them shook there heads, saying, "No ma'am… we fine right where we are." This said as the hired photography made rounds snapping pictures of everyone.
"I'm Sheila, this is Edwina, that's Ellen and that's Vivian." She introduced each of them. Gert had her eyes fixed on Vivian. "Oh my goodness look at you! Lord… I got to do some praying now!" Gert announced with a pounding in her heart, staring at Vivian. Who wasn't sure what to make of what she was getting at.
"The music's started, I better get to my seat… at the reception, I wanna see all of you at the front table… understand?!"
They all smiled, "Yes ma'am… we will."
As soon as Gert walked away, they all looked at Vivian. "She got her eyes on you for somethin'! We liable to find your ass strung up in these back woods somewhere… you best stay close… this some spooky Steven King shit!"
"Girl quit cussing in the Lords house!" Ellen chastised Sheila.
"Oops – shit…sorry…"
"Girl! You did it again!"
"Oh shit!" She said it again, covering her mouth.
"Sheila! The Lord gone strike yo'ass and fry you to a crisp!" Ellen furthered.
"Oh… you said ass!"
"Ass is okay, its in the bible… but not shit!"
"Now you saying it!"
"Just shet up ya'll… Vivian… like she said… stay close, too many woods and trees to get lost out here!"
Shawn stood with his stomach tied in a tight knot, with his brother Derrick by his side, he held his breath waiting for her to show up and make her way down the isle. Angela, Sasha, Jenny Lee and then Shanna led the way and then the change in the music happened and everyone stood turning toward the back as it announced the coming of the bride.
After a brief pause, she appeared, holding onto his father's arm and a huge arrangement of flowers. Her friends had arrived, and gestured to her. She looked over at them and smiled. He could see the relief on her face from there that she was happy they'd shown up. Towards the front was Crystal and Mundo, dressed impeccably smart with beaming smiles. She searched them out and smiled again when she saw them, then with nervous expectant eyes, hers met his.
Shawn went weak and prayed that his legs would hold him. The pull of attraction and need was so powerful between them, he could not wait until she was there by his side, where he could touch her, hold her there next to him, until all the vows were said and reverend Hamilton announced them as husband and wife… Shawn needed that to happen, more than anything… he wanted this… he wanted her… more than ever.
He took a million snaps of her in his mind, just as the photography did his job capturing her every nuance until she arrived there to stand by him and was handed over to him by his father. They both looked at each other. Spellbound in disbelief that they were finally there, standing and about to say vows that would secure them as one. The music drew to its end and all attending sat down, friends, family and distant relatives were present.
As silence grew within, signalling that all were ready with their full attention, reverend Hamilton said right away. "I ask all who sit in view of this marriage ceremony, if anyone has any reason to stay the joining of these two in holy matrimony, say so of it now, or forever hold your peace."
Sylvia stood with her eyes closed, holding her breath, scared to death that someone would. No matter what battles came ahead, she wanted this. She wanted Shawn, she just wanted it to be over with so they could move on and she could then cleanse her soul… just set out the truth so they could move on from there. A full minute went by that felt to them both, like an hour. Satisfied, the reverend petitioned all to bow their heads, then said a prayer over the ceremony. Following an amen, all lifted their heads and the ceremony went forward.
Shawn wished the reverend was a CD in a player so he could just speed him forward to the part about kissing the bride and have it done with. But he wasn't and there was no rushing to be done. Each vow was given, by both of them, next the I do's, followed by the exchanging of rings. Sylvia proudly placed his ring on his finger, just as he had done to her. Both were growing excited as the ceremony was brought down the home stretch to the reverend announcing… "I now… pronounce you… husband and wife… Mr. McPherson, you are now free to kiss your bride."
Shawn blew out a deep breath so hyped with excitement he almost shouted out his joy.
"Come here baby! You're mine now!" He announced loud and proud, making all within hearing chuckle as he pulled Sylvia to him for a big kiss. Sylvia was so relieved, she could have fainted. It was done! They were now… husband and wife! With her arms around his waist, she kissed him back glorying in the feel of being his, cheering made them laugh and finally break the kiss. They turned to all assembled while they clapped, cheered and whistled, pictures were being taken from every direction. Finally they were a married couple, and made their way slowly through the aisle, smiling and stopping for snap shots. Both beaming and happy.
The family had to stay at the church for pictures, and after an hour of photos being taken – they went to Shawn's parents to change. Rather, Sylvia wanted to change. She wasn't about to wear the gown beyond the ceremony. Had in fact bought herself a long, white, shimmering gown for after the wedding to attend the reception in. After changing and rearranging her hair, they showed up an hour later at the wedding hall because the ceremony was not complete without the driving through town and blowing their horns with the help of Shawn's nephews and friends. Now the celebrating could begin..
to be continued…
Wish to read more? http://amberswann.com – Bomaw!
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