Search here...
0
TOP
Reader News Thursday Thirteen

13 Things You Don’t Want For Your Birthday

126 Views

 

  1. Bills.

And you know you will get some.  Is it too much to ask the mailman not to deliver any bills on your birthday?  It should be a law.  Also, this goes for anyone attempting to collect a debt.  Seems fair.

2.  Bad news.

We have 364 other days of the year to get bad news.  I once had my ex-husband, who was a wee bit delinquent on child support, wait for over a week to call and tell me he had lost his most recent job”¦ He waited until my birthday.  So wrong.

3. Colds/Infection

There should be a moratorium on illness that covers the entire 24hrs of your day of birth.  One feels more like being happy for having survived yet another year if one is not doing their best to empty the nearest box of Kleenex.

4. Fossilized Frog Guts

This one probably sounds strange, so I will explain.  I have two sons. (For some of you, that is probably explanation enough”¦) One of them once found a frog that had been squashed and had mostly dried out on the road.  He then stuck said frog (yes, ew.) in his pants pocket thinking, according to him, that running him through the washer and dryer would create a frog mummy (cleaning off any remaining bacteria and then drying out the corpse”¦ He somehow or another got that from science class, or so I was told).   I knew nothing of this.  I just knew that when I pulled the clothes out of the drier, there were bits of something all over it.  When asked, he explained.  And I gagged.

5. Moldy tea.

My children (darling little things) often are kind enough to support Mommy’s writing affliction by giving me coffee or tea while I am working.  As most artists can testify, we aren’t paying much attention to the real world while focused on the ones we are trying to create.  I slurped down one such mug of iced tea (I don’t know why a mug”¦ they are kids.) and had asked the nearest child for a refill.  Halfway through my second mug, I glanced into the cup.  Even in a haze, I noticed something floating on the surface of the drink.  I had to come out of the haze to identify it as mold and gag. 

6. Moldy coffee.

See #5.  Assume from there.  I have two coffee pots.  Sometimes, one doesn’t get dumped.  Nuff  said.

7. Burning windshield wipers

I was once in a car accident that trapped me in the car.  I saw my wipers melt.  I also discovered that there are a surprising number of places that smoke can come into the cabin of a car if the engine is on fire.  Sucktastic birthday gift.

8. Live insects

Again, I have sons.  Not that I have a bug issue.  I like praying mantis.  I don’t like any of the others.  At.  All.  I have a really hard time pretending I love the gift if it is crawling up my arm and I am running around the house screaming, “Get it off!!!!”

9. Washing Machine

Or other major appliances or any gift (dishwasher) which requires (blender) more (toaster oven) work.  Not to say that if you have really wanted an appliance and they get it for you it is a bad thing.  What I am referring to here is the woman who hates to cook (me) getting an oven with a big smile and a Betty Crocker cookbook.  No.  I would not like an oven. And you cannot make me, Sam-I-Am.

10.  Shotgun

Or other (boat trailer) gifts (season pass) that (fishing pole) your (camping gear) significant (pick-up truck) other (golf clubs) wanted for themselves. If you want any of these things, fine.  If they want them and are using your birthday as an excuse to get them for themselves (Fine, you don’t like it so I will put it in the garage.) then I recommend using the item to hit them.  See, now you like those golf clubs, don’t you?

11. Lost

 Getting lost on your birthday is somehow even less fun than getting lost any other time.  Some days, you might almost enjoy the extra couple of miles that takes you someplace new to see something you might never have known was there without the unplanned detour.  Heading towards cake is not the time for it.

12. Hot Wax.

 Do I have to give details?  Nothing good ever comes of an inexperienced hand and a tub of hot wax.

13. Gym Membership

 This is not (stairmaster) the correct (free weights) way to (elliptical) motivate me to become physically fit.  All I see is that you think I am fat.  (Unless you like these things, in which case, see #9 &#10 for disclaimer) And I do not want to work out on my birthday.  I do, however, wonder if you can catch this free weight.  Let’s try it out.

What was the worst birthday gift you ever received?

1. Start here

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun!

Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

«

»

0 COMMENTS

  • Stephanie

    Tomorrow is my birthday…and I DEFINITELY do not want any of those things!!! (Well, one…but I already have it…a gym membership…but I willingly got that myself!!LOL!)

  • Virginia
    AUTHOR

    See… in that case, gym membership is a cool thing to have.  LOL.
    Happy early birthday, Stephanie!

  • Kimberly

    I laughed out loud at this list! I've been very fortunate and haven't received bad gifts. However, one year instead of a beautiful cherry chip cake (my favorite), my mom made a strawberry pie. She forgot that I detest strawberries, but the boyfriend (now hubby) was elated. He loves strawberries!

  • Patti P

    My birthday is on the 22nd. I can relate to the bad bday presents. One year I received 2 exercise steps and 3 workout videos from misc. family and friends. Needless to say I hadn't asked for them and I was feeling extremely round and ugly that year!!!!
    But my worst was that my Dad died on my 40th bday. That has to be the topper!
    musicalfrog at comcast.net

  • Virg

    Happy early birthday, Patti!! And my condolences on your loss.  You are right.  That is pretty awful 🙁
     
    Kimberly- Glad I gave you a giggle 🙂  And I think I would rather have the cherry chip cake as well… Even though I like strawberries.  LOL

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Follow Me on Instagram

https://coffeetimeromance.com/pet-costume-contest-get-your-entry-vote/?feed_id=3673&_unique_id=6703ab4bda485&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterPet%20Costume%20Contest%20-%20Get%20your%20Entry%20%26%20Vote%21270470

https://coffeetimeromance.com/pet-costume-contest-get-your-entry-vote/?feed_id=3673&_unique_id=6703ab4bda485&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterPet%20Costume%20Contest%20-%20Get%20your%20Entry%20%26%20Vote%21270470 ...

1 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/win-with-turn-the-page-publishing/?feed_id=3663&_unique_id=67012723c3600&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterWin%20with%20Turn%20the%20Page%20Publishing270433

https://coffeetimeromance.com/win-with-turn-the-page-publishing/?feed_id=3663&_unique_id=67012723c3600&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterWin%20with%20Turn%20the%20Page%20Publishing270433 ...

3 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/270426-2/?feed_id=3633&_unique_id=66fffee27bc88&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20Poster270426

https://coffeetimeromance.com/270426-2/?feed_id=3633&_unique_id=66fffee27bc88&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20Poster270426 ...

2 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/changeling-press-news-10-04-2024/?feed_id=3643&_unique_id=66fff5bb6190a&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterChangeling%20Press%20News%2010%2F04%2F2024270427

https://coffeetimeromance.com/changeling-press-news-10-04-2024/?feed_id=3643&_unique_id=66fff5bb6190a&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterChangeling%20Press%20News%2010%2F04%2F2024270427 ...

1 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/octobers-reader-news/?feed_id=3623&_unique_id=66ffe28234883&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterOctober%27s%20Reader%20News270421

https://coffeetimeromance.com/octobers-reader-news/?feed_id=3623&_unique_id=66ffe28234883&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterOctober%27s%20Reader%20News270421 ...

5 1
@angela.knight.7161 New York Best Selling Author is teaching a class October 2024  Blastoff Beginnings: Writing Opening Chapters That Take Readers Along for the Ride Angela Knight examines the elements that engage the reader’s curiosity and make her care about your characters. She will explain how to design and execute a fantastic story that will land you on your readers’ auto-buy lists. #Writing Opening Chapters That Take Readers Along for the Ride #books #writing #class #booktok https://bit.ly/AK100724class

@angela.knight.7161 New York Best Selling Author is teaching a class October 2024 Blastoff Beginnings: Writing Opening Chapters That Take Readers Along for the Ride Angela Knight examines the elements that engage the reader’s curiosity and make her care about your characters. She will explain how to design and execute a fantastic story that will land you on your readers’ auto-buy lists. #Writing Opening Chapters That Take Readers Along for the Ride #books #writing #class #booktok https://bit.ly/AK100724class ...

1 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-barbara-matteson/?feed_id=3613&_unique_id=66fc9c62e3f96&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=Rachel&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Barbara%20Matteson270199

https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-barbara-matteson/?feed_id=3613&_unique_id=66fc9c62e3f96&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=Rachel&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Barbara%20Matteson270199 ...

2 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-amber-daulton2024/?feed_id=3563&_unique_id=66fc9ae751575&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=tory%20richards&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Amber%20Daulton270239

https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-amber-daulton2024/?feed_id=3563&_unique_id=66fc9ae751575&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=tory%20richards&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Amber%20Daulton270239 ...

3 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-sevannah-storm/?feed_id=3603&_unique_id=66fc99c63a392&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=RachelFirasek&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Sevannah%20Storm270206

https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-sevannah-storm/?feed_id=3603&_unique_id=66fc99c63a392&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=RachelFirasek&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Sevannah%20Storm270206 ...

2 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/author-newsletter-september-2024/?feed_id=3593&_unique_id=66fc0de57cc5e&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterAuthor%20Newsletter%20-%20September%202024270257

https://coffeetimeromance.com/author-newsletter-september-2024/?feed_id=3593&_unique_id=66fc0de57cc5e&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=coffeetimeromance&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterAuthor%20Newsletter%20-%20September%202024270257 ...

3 0
Interview with Celia Breslin 
We are thrilled to have author Celia Breslin with us today. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to give readers a chance to get to know more about you and your work. While some questions may be traditional, you’d be surprised at what readers connect to. Sometimes the simplest ‘I can relate to that’ grabs their interest where nothing else can. So, let us begin.

Can you share a little something about Celia Breslin that’s not mentioned in your bio on your website?

Sure! I play piano, and I like to sing. Used to be a soprano, but now I’m more of an alto. I also like to work out every day. Weight training, cardio, walking, etc.

How long have you been writing?

I’ve been writing stories since I was a kid. Mostly short stories back then. After college, I moved on to novella and novel-length work. I still do write the occasional short story, including The Night Hag, a dark modern fairy tale I wrote for Halloween 2023 (free to my newsletter subscribers).

What have you found most challenging about it?

I have more story ideas than I have time, LOL. 

What does writing do for you? Is it fun, cathartic, do you get emotional?

Writing is definitely fun and fulfilling. I do get emotional about my stories, especially when I’m throwing all sorts of problems at my main characters. But then I get to cheer them on when they overcome the obstacles and achieve their HEA.

Describe what your writing routine looks like. Are you disciplined with a strict schedule, or do you have to be in the mood?

I try to write regardless of my mood. I like to stay connected to my WiP, so daily writing is a must.  I’m also an editor, so my typical workday includes both activities. Oh, and my daily workout!

Did you go into writing thinking that it would be a hobby or a job?

It started as a hobby when I was a kid/teen. Fast forward to adulthood…when my daughter was born, I thought, why not publish my stories? So, I started submitting my vampire series to publishers, and it was picked up. Writing has been one my job hats ever since.

Let's move on and give readers some insight into your personal life.

 What are your pet peeves?  Being late, drivers...

Interview with Celia Breslin
We are thrilled to have author Celia Breslin with us today. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to give readers a chance to get to know more about you and your work. While some questions may be traditional, you’d be surprised at what readers connect to. Sometimes the simplest ‘I can relate to that’ grabs their interest where nothing else can. So, let us begin.

Can you share a little something about Celia Breslin that’s not mentioned in your bio on your website?

Sure! I play piano, and I like to sing. Used to be a soprano, but now I’m more of an alto. I also like to work out every day. Weight training, cardio, walking, etc.

How long have you been writing?

I’ve been writing stories since I was a kid. Mostly short stories back then. After college, I moved on to novella and novel-length work. I still do write the occasional short story, including The Night Hag, a dark modern fairy tale I wrote for Halloween 2023 (free to my newsletter subscribers).

What have you found most challenging about it?

I have more story ideas than I have time, LOL. 

What does writing do for you? Is it fun, cathartic, do you get emotional?

Writing is definitely fun and fulfilling. I do get emotional about my stories, especially when I’m throwing all sorts of problems at my main characters. But then I get to cheer them on when they overcome the obstacles and achieve their HEA.

Describe what your writing routine looks like. Are you disciplined with a strict schedule, or do you have to be in the mood?

I try to write regardless of my mood. I like to stay connected to my WiP, so daily writing is a must.  I’m also an editor, so my typical workday includes both activities. Oh, and my daily workout!

Did you go into writing thinking that it would be a hobby or a job?

It started as a hobby when I was a kid/teen. Fast forward to adulthood…when my daughter was born, I thought, why not publish my stories? So, I started submitting my vampire series to publishers, and it was picked up. Writing has been one my job hats ever since.

Let`s move on and give readers some insight into your personal life.

 What are your pet peeves?  Being late, drivers...
...

1 0
https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-sara-swann-barnard/?feed_id=3543&_unique_id=66fbff8f087cb&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=Rachel&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Sara%20Swann-Barnard270202

https://coffeetimeromance.com/interview-with-sara-swann-barnard/?feed_id=3543&_unique_id=66fbff8f087cb&utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=Rachel&utm_campaign=FS%20PosterInterview%20with%20Sara%20Swann-Barnard270202 ...

2 0